Blogging should be fun not frightening

Sometimes I find myself sitting at the keyboard completely blank.

Its as if my words have just disappeared.

I want to write words that are wise and full of wisdom.

Yet I am far from wise and as for wisdom, heck i don’t even have wisdom teeth.

When did blogging become frightening for me?

When did i start to feel pressured by my own words?

I wonder if the influx of bloggers has made me more aware of my own writing.

To be honest I haven’t got a clue.

What i do know is that its time I got over myself.

When I started this blog i wrote because I simply loved it.

I wanted to share my life and experiences.

It didn’t matter if anyone actually read it.

My words were simply for me.

So this is where I need to get back to.

Finding my freedom in my words.

Blogging should be fun.

Not frightening.

 

Don’t pity me for being a blogger.

I am getting so tired of seeing the look on the faces of people when I tell them I’m a blogger. It’s as if in that single sentence I have become a second class citizen. As if my writing is nothing but a little hobby that I have taken too far. As if publishing my words is a cry for attention.

This makes me angry probably more than it should, but I am still working on those self belief issues.

You see I don’t write as a hobby.

I don’t write as a cry for attention.

I write and I blog simply because I love it.

When I first published a blog post it was in determination. I wanted to show that raising a child with Special Needs was hard yes, but that it also brought you a lot of joy. I was tired of people feeling sorry for me for having Olivia. I wanted them to see what a gift she was to me.

I wanted to share my ideas and experiences with anyone that was willing to read.

After Olivia died I considered giving up blogging. I felt that I have nothing left to share. Then somehow I found myself writing about my grief and my pain. I expected these posts just be shared between family and friends but then I found other grieving parents contacting me telling me that my words were helping them. That they were finding comfort and strength in my posts.

So I carried on writing

In the last 6 years my blog has become my friend. Its a place I bare my soul and times yes I may over share but I do wear my heart on my sleeve and my writing shows this. I cannot make apologies for who I am.

This blog has been on a journey with me. As my tagline states “a journey through this chaos we call life”.

This blog has brought me some amazing opportunities. I have attended some great events and received the opportunity to write some fantastic reviews.

It has also given me a platform to educate and inform people about Special Needs and Rett Syndrome.

This blog has brought me into contact with people who have become friends, dear friends.

But beyond all this, on this blog I have found freedom.

Freedom to allow the words that have been running around inside my head a place to fall out. The endless journals of bygone days are now being filled here in my virtual diary.

I can accept some may never understand why I blog. But please don’t pity me for being a blogger. I am blooming proud of this piece of cyberspace I call home.

My Britmums Live Experience – Take 2

So now for the real reason behind my weekend success – the people , the amazing, kind, funny and down right just wonderful people who crossed my path over the last few days.

Firstly I have to mention Her Melness, now Mel is what I was call blogging royalty even if she denies it, her blog is honest, open and at times downright sarcastic and I love it.

Now Mel in her alter ego The Gift of Words  actually sponsored me to attend Britmums live and I was so looking forward to personally thanking her. What I didn’t expect was to find this amazing, warm, loving lady who made me feel so special as she opened her arms with friendship. Mel has this way of  making you feel like you could tell her anything. Mel and I had some lovely chats over the weekend (I’m missing them already) and those fireworks they were meant just for us.

Of course I can’t mention Mel without sending out a big hug to her best friend Angie.  One fantastic lady and I especially loved watching the banter between her and Mel it was obvious to see they were lifelong friends. 

I did get to meet and chat with so many over the weekend but two other people who have crossed the blogger threshold into the friendship one are Kate from Two cats, youngling and Me and Tinuke from Circus Moms. I’m so excited to get to know them more and looking forward to our next get together. 

As you can see we had some fun….

 

To be honest It would be easy to fill this page and many more with the many people I enjoyed chatting to over the weekend. I totally stepped out of my comfort zone and said Hi to many of the writers I admire. Nickie from Typecast, Katie Davis Holmes from  Kate On Thin ice, Michelle from Mummy from the heart and many many more.

 I got to meet some of the fantastic ladies who I was short listed with in the inspire Category  , Alex from “Doing it all for Aleyna. Clare from A Boy with Aspergers, Steph from “Was this in the Plan” Hayley from “Downs side up” Kylie from “Not even a bag of sugar and of course Lisa from “Mummy Whisper” who went on to win our category final,all incredible woman who inspire and change people’s perceptions. I love them!  I was gutted that Kathryn from ”Crystal Jigsaw” didn’t attend as I have been following her blog for a long time and would have loved the chance to say hi.

 I was lucky enough to get say hello to many people whose blogs I have admired and read for a long time but also got to meet many new people whose blogs I am now reading and enjoying.

 It fact Britmums Live for me was totally about the people. Yes I found the workshops informative and helpful but it was the conversations I had with others that made my weekend.

 As I was on the train home on Sunday, I was excited by the new people following me on twitter and the new people I have started following on twitter.

 I was also so touched by peoples reactions to my comments in the Sod the Stats, Blogging for Happiness workshop.

 In simple I was blessed.

 Thank you to all  those who made this nervous blogger feel welcome this weekend.

Oh and  Susanna it was wonderful to finally get to say Hi, it was an awesome weekend, well done to you and Jennifer and all at Brit mums.

 

 

.