A mom or a referee?

Sometimes I feel less like a mother and more like a referee.

Always negotiating, enforcing rules.

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Image courtesy of vectorolie / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Everyone warned me that it could be like this but I never expected a war zone to be found in my living room.

I love my girls and while I accept that growing up and finding their freedom is part of life’s journey. I’m not happy that they have decided each day is an opportunity for a battle.

How can they go from being best friends to worst enemies?

Seriously it’s driving me mad.

I am proud I have raised such independent spirited young woman but hey please let them take on the world and leave their poor mama alone.

I am tired and emotionally shattered with this parenting stage.

Reminiscing and yearning for the days of night feeds and dirty nappies. I may have been exhausted back then but at least they didn’t answer back so much.

I know its a stage that all go through and one day my beautiful kind caring girls will return and the dragon headed all knowing beautiful monsters will disappear but its so not easy.

Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I recognise this year is going to one of big changes, university, college it certainly is  going to bring a new dynamic to the relationships of the girls.

A new dimension in their sisterhood.

I’m praying a little space will make hearts grow fonder.

Who knows?

I guess until then I will resign myself to the role of mediator for a little longer.

So does anyone have a whistle?

 

My greatest decision.

My twelve year old daughter lies beside me. Her gentle snores whisper through the night. Cuddles and stories have led to her falling asleep beside me. It’s so very special and so very missed.

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Nights of stories and cuddles were swapped for iPhones and DVDs.

Telling me all about her day changed to a closed door and the tapping of keys.

My girls are growing up and I’m afraid. Afraid they will no longer want to sleep in my arms.

Share their dreams and adventures.

My eldest reaches adulthood this year and my heart is filled with fear.
I have to let her go, watch her spread her wings and fly. University, leaving home, independence.

I am so proud of my girls even when their teenage tantrums drive me insane.

But letting go isn’t easy.

Motherhood is the greatest gift I have ever been given.

But as I watch my daughter sleep I realise something. I’m not losing my daughters as they grow. I’m gaining young beautiful woman who will set the world alight in whatever they wish to do.

With their sweet hearts they will love on others and bless this world.

They will grow and age but they will also live and learn.

The whole world is there for them to explore. Life becomes the greatest adventure.

And I will be their biggest fan, watching, waiting, supporting them in all they wish to achieve.

Yes there comes a time when they have to leave home.

But

They will never leave my heart.

And as for cuddles at bedtime my arms are always open wide for my beautiful girls.

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My greatest decision