Twenty years on, do I love him like I did?

On May 23, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I was chatting to someone a few days back and they said something that really made me think. They told me they loved their husband the same as when they first met them. This got me thinking.

Do I love my husband the same way?
It’s been twenty years since our first date, do I love him like I did then?

My answer

Dear Alan

From the moment I saw you I think I loved you, no matter how hard I tried to deny it you were in my heart forever.
When you asked me to marry you my heart finally felt complete.

The day I became your wife I questioned if I could ever love another as I love you.

Still twenty years on I have to admit I don’t love you like I did then.

You don’t make my heart skip a beat anymore at the sound of your voice.

My skin doesn’t tingle when you reach out for me.

It’s not the same

It’s so much better

I look back over our 20 years, over all we have been through and how I know I couldn’t have survived it all without you.

My heart may not skip beats at the sound of your voice but my soul feels a peace it only knows from you.

My skin may not tingle at your touch but my whole body burns to be close to you, connected with you.

20 years ago I didn’t think I could love you more, but I do. Gone is the flirty lust filled love and in its place is a deep emotional connection.

We are so different you and I.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. My mouth opens quicker than my brain engages. I stress the little things, the big things and those in between.

It used to frustrate me how laid back you are, now I see you are the calm to my storm. You are the peace to my hurricane.

Life has blessed us and hurt us. I have found myself falling into the depths of despair only stopping in my freefall by the strength and love you have wrapped around me like a safety cradle keeping me safe.

I watch you grow each day. Taking on challenges, pushing yourself. It makes me so proud to call you mine. You encourage me to reach out for my dreams, always supporting me on the sidelines.

My heart is full from the way you care for our children. Ones ours from birth others ours by heart. Nothing is too much to make them happy. Your girls have you wrapped around their fingers. Your boy looks up to you his eyes saying “that’s my daddy”.

I think of the children we have still yet to meet, how lucky they will be to call you dad.

The last 20 years have been one heck of a ride. But if I had to do it all again I would in a heartbeat as long as you were there by my side.

Marriage is a crazy thing, I’m sure no one has all the answers. I’m just glad I got to face the questions with you.

I don’t love you like I did when we first met.

No I love you so much more.

Thanks for putting up with this crazy girl.

Here’s to the next 20.

Sara xx

Autism awareness week – Speak Up

On March 30, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn Speak UP, UncategorisedLeave a comment

This week is World Autism Awareness Week and we are Speaking Up and standing up for autism.

Its not just about raising funds for autism support it is about spreading the word and raising awareness.

Here are some facts and statistics about autism.

Autism is a serious, lifelong and disabling condition. Without the right support, it can have a profound – sometimes devastating – effect on individuals and families
It is a spectrum condition, which means that, while all people with autism share certain difficulties, their condition will affect them in different ways. Some people with autism are able to live relatively independent lives but others may have accompanying learning disabilities and need a lifetime of specialist support.
Autism is much more common than many people think. There are around 700,000 people in the UK with autism – that’s more than 1 in 100. If you include their families, autism touches the lives of 2.7 million people every day.
Autism doesn’t just affect children. Children with autism grow up to be adults with autism.
Autism is a hidden disability – you can’t always tell if someone has it.
While autism is incurable, the right support at the right time can make an enormous difference to people’s lives.

Raising two children who both have a diagnoses of autism has made me really realise how vast the spectrum is and its this degree of variation that leaves many struggling with little or no support.

There need to be more investment placed in early and true diagnoses and support given.

There also needs to be more support to those who care for children and adults with autism.

I can honestly say that why I love my children with all my heart at times autism has led me to some isolated places. Its hard watching your children struggle to understand, get frustrated or anxious. Its also hard when you are the receiver of their frustrations. Having the right support and guidance is invaluable.

So that is why this week I am Speaking Up to raise awareness of Autism.

Please visit the The National Autistic Society and learn more about Autism

Don’t forget to join in with this weeks Speak Up and tell me what your are passionate about and let us support and encourage each other.

Speak Up – A stitch in time

On March 22, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn Speak UP, UncategorisedLeave a comment

For the last 14 years I have been working with professionals within the social care field where there is a majority opinion that funding given in early support services would make savings later on and make a more dramatic difference to children’s lives.

Investment in the health of pregnant women leads to healthy children.

Support for young, inexperienced mother’s lead towards more educated, healthy happy children.

Guidance and support in youth services leads to less in the juvenile correction system and so on.

Yet for so long services seem to be funded in a catch up manner, fighting the fires when the fire is at full blaze.

So this is why I am getting behind a campaign being run by Action for Children, Barnardo’s, The Children’s Society, and NSPCC called “A Stitch in time”

We say it’s time for change.

Responsible government must invest in services and support that prevent problems before they start — to improve the lives of children and families and save money for taxpayers in the long run. That is why we are calling for all political parties to make a commitment to shift the emphasis of public services to early support.

We want the next Government to focus more on early support
to help children, young people and their families.

More stability into children and family
services – five year spending plans

Making five year funding commitments — from one election to the next — would allow the Government, local councils, and other service providers to make longer-term plans. Most importantly, children could stick with the same support staff as they grow old.

Help your local £ work – promote
Community Budgets

Community Budgets allow providers of services to pool their budgets. This reduces waste and makes it easier to work together
to help children. It’s a relatively new way of working, so the Government needs to support its development and promotion.

Show us what’s
happening – more accountability

With spending moved towards early support, we would like to see annual progress reports. Parliament should be involved in scrutiny through the Public Accounts Committee.

Acting early to avoid crisis – shift public money towards early intervention

There is so much evidence that acting early avoids expensive crises that it only
makes sense to invest a bigger slice of our public money.

Our support services are struggling and many are reaching breaking point, people are not getting enough support, getting support to late or simply getting none.

Investment is needed in early support and intervention and it is needed now.

A stitch in time is asking you to Take action Now.

Visit the website and help protect children from crisis.

Together we can raise our voices louder.

So join me each week writing about what has touched you enough to speak out about.

Share news, campaigns, petitions and so much more.

As a community we can support and encourage one another.

After you have linked up visit at least one other blog of those who have linked up.

“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph. “

Haile Selassie

Lets do this ……..

Speak Up on FGM.

On March 16, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn brit mums, UncategorisedLeave a comment

Writing this blog and others for the last 8 years has granted me many opportunities.

I have been lucky to experience some wonderful moments and make some fantastic friends.

Still one thing I am really grateful for in this online space is the freedom to use my voice, to share my passions, my beliefs and my heart.

Yet having such freedom should never be underestimated or undervalued when still in many places in this world many do not have this opportunity or freedom.

So with this in mind I am creating a new weekly linky called “Speak up” I want us all to come together and use our voices to speak out about things we are passionate about, those we wish to change and those we wish to support.

Together we can raise our voices louder.

So join me each week writing about what has touched you enough to speak out about.

Share news, campaigns, petitions and so much more.

As a community we can support and encourage one another.

After you have linked up visit at least one other blog of those who have linked up.

“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph. “

Haile Selassie

Lets do this ……..

——————————————————————————————————–

This week I am Speaking Up about FGM or in its full Female Genital Mutilation.

What is Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)?

FGM is when parts or all of the external female genitalia are removed or injured for no medical reason.

It is also sometimes referred to as female genital cutting or female circumcision. There are no health benefits to FGM and it is recognised internationally as a human rights violation.

Female genital mutilation is classified into four major types:

Type 1 – Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).

Type 2 – Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are “the lips” that surround the vagina).

Type 3 – Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris.

Type 4 – Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterising the genital area.

Its hard to get your head around isn’t it.

Honestly I read this and still cannot accept or understand why this is still happening.

I was actually talking to a friend a week or so ago and somehow we got onto the subject of what injustices we struggle with in this world today. When I mentioned FGM she asked in which countries that this still happened now. She was shocked when I replied here in the UK.

My friend like many others were under the belief that this abuse had been outlawed here in the UK. The fact that FGM has been illegal here since 1984 would allow you to believe this.

But you would be wrong.

A local Birmingham hospital has dealt with 1,500 cases of FGM in last five years.

This means that six victims have been treated each week.

The fact that this is illegal seems to have no effect on the amount of mutilations occurring. In 2014 regardless of the rise in hospital cases and reports given to the police there was not one single conviction in the UK.

This is appalling, even the fact that since 2003 anyone taking a child out of the Uk for the barbaric practice could face up to 14 years in prison has not slowed down the rate.

In fact The Female Genital Mutilation Act 2003 makes it

•illegal to practice FGM in the UK

•illegal to assist a girl to mutilate her own genitalia

•illegal to take girls who are British Nationals or permanent residents of the UK abroad for FGM whether or not it is lawful in that country;

•Illegal to aid, abet, counsel or procure the carrying out of FGM abroad;

An offence under this act has a maximum penalty of up to 14 years in prison and/or a fine.

Yet still no convictions.

Girls as young as five are being subjected to this heinous act.

Let me share with you some more figures.

60,000 girls under 15 are at risk of FGM in the UK

137,000 girls and women are living with the consequences of FGM in the UK

Over 130 million girls and women worldwide have undergone FGM

FGM is practiced in more than 29 countries across Africa, parts of the Middle East, South East Asia and countries where migrants from FGM affected communities live.

This needs to stop.

So that is why I am Speaking Up this week against FGM in hope to raise public attention to the fact that this is still happening right now in 2015.

Speaking up to support organisations like Forward UK who are working hard in the UK, Europe and Africa to safeguard girls at risk of FGM and support women affected.

Speak up against FGM with me.

Join in with my new weekly link up and Speak Up for something that moves you and don’t forget to go visit the other linked up. blogs

When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.

Audre Lorde

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