Oh just get along.

I sometimes wonder how often we just give away parts of ourselves just to keep the peace.

When we are tired and weary and we just want the arguments to stop.

How many times do we teach our children to just be friends.

Just try to get along.

Yet their hearts are actually breaking from the pain.

“I know she’ll hurt you.”

“I know she said some things that she shouldn’t but move on and try to be happy”

“Kids say things they don’t mean don’t take it to heart.”

“Just ignore it”.

Yet each cruel word is etched into their soul.

Why do we say its okay when it’s not?

The Internet is full of kids lost due to bullying.

Souls broken unable to take anymore.

Were they told to be nice?

To ignore the bullies.

To try and be friends.

Get along.

Just be strong.

By telling our children how to be we take away who they are.

And who they are is just fine.

No one deserves to be made to change.

To feel ashamed in their own skin,

It’s not about getting along.

It’s about being given the freedom to sing your own song.

Style on Sunday

This week has been so hot and my wardrobe choices have been pretty limited.

Although I would love to have a selection of pretty summer clothes the finances say different.

This doesn’t stop a girl from dreaming though.

This weeks style on Sunday is a little different as I have been joined by one of my beautiful girlies.

Say HI to Brodie


So here are our outfit choices for this week. h02lh291500w

I just fell in love with this dress from Simply Be’s Folktale collection its perfect for these summer days.

I would wear it with these gorgeous sandals. g04dd581505s

And to finish it off I absolutely adore this bag. h04nl707506s

All this outfit was from Simply Be.

After seeing the beautiful Becky Barnes rocking the jumpsuit I have been wondering if maybe one would suit me.

So when I came across this stunner from Yours Clothing I knew it was going to be an outfit pic for this week.

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Its beautiful isn’t it and with a pair of simple black Platform court shoes again from Yours Clothing the outfit is elegant and so stylish and I so want it. 340df274-f62e-4f19-ad9b-6f88bca28596

Now for my girlie’s outfit pick for this week. She has chosen a cute pair of high waisted shorts from New Look


Paired with with a sweet turquoise crochet T-shirt 313453948

With a gorgeous pair of sandals from ASOS to complete. image1xxl I

think Brodie would look beautiful in this outfit but I confess to being completely bias.

So there are our outfit choices for this week.

Click the photos for links.

Keeping on top of it.

One fantastic thing about being the mom to teens and pre teens is shopping. The joy I get from being dragged around shop after shop for hours and hours at a time.

Do you detect a hint of sarcasm there?

I am not a fan of shopping at the best of times. Don’t get me wrong I do have a new found love of fashion but prefer to order from the comfort of my sofa.

Add to this dislike the adorable (annoying) different styles of my three girls I seriously dread the changing of the seasons and the need for appropriate clothes.

I love the changing of the leaves and the coming of the colder months but I hate the chore of finding new coats for my tribe.

Different tastes, different styles, annoying children leaves one frustrated mom.

With fashion changing and new trends emerging its important to in the words of my daughters “to keep on top it”. It seems its a cardinal sin to be seen in last years coat.

So the search was on.

One wanted one of the new tartan coats that seem to be everywhere. Tartan is the new trend it seems.

Another wanted a parka, something long enough to go over her blazer and hide the fact that she has too, in her words “ wear the dorky thing” and the little one well she had no clue ( helpful right).

The last four weeks have drove me insane. I honestly believed starting early would make it easier for me but no it seems the more time you give teens to look the more times they change their minds.

We have had numerous trips to town and hours spent pouring over the internet and finally I have a slight victory. Well the two teens have coats woo hoo.

I still have the little one (can i call a 12 year old that) to find a coat for but compared to the older two she is a breeze. (Please don’t let me be eating my words in a few weeks time).

Tartan didn’t happen but the parkas did, we have two very different but equally attractive coats and I have for the moment two happy teenagers.

Long may it last.


* this is a sponsored post

24 hours and counting

I know I’ve been quiet here the last month or so but with the children off school I haven’t really had time to make sense of my thoughts or string words together.

It’s been a weird exhausting holiday we have had lots of fun and made some special memories but its been a hard one too.

My foster son requires complete supervision and that in itself is tiring but add his aversion to sleep you really do have one shattered mommy.

My 12 year old is growing up so quick and we are suffering from what we call the “senior school syndrome”.
You know the one where they go to senior school and turn from sweet little girls into vile stroppy creatures.

The teens have been driving me mad one with her “I’m so embarrassed by my family” attitude and the other with her Aspergers “lets not let mommy out of my sight ” phrase. Between them I have many grey hairs coming through.

So yes I’m shattered and I will put my hands up and say with relief “yes they are going back to school tomorrow”.

Six weeks is too long. I seriously need my routines back. In fact we all do.

I’m hoping they all have a great time back at school being with their friends.

I’m looking forward to spending time with my friends to.

I’m also looking forward to having ten minutes without hearing the word “mom”.

Don’t get me wrong I love being a mom but I’m missing Sara a little.

So the countdown begins

24 hours to go.


I’m only human

Sometimes I just get so fed up of expectations.

What others think I should be doing.

Only yesterday I was moaning about needed a break from life.

From the arguing of my teenagers. The constant roundabout of general day to day issues.

I just wanted a night out with my girlfriends.

When a email I received about being ungrateful really struck at my heart.

Also it told me I should know better really hurt.

Yes I am a bereaved mom and yes I cherish my children

But I am only human.

Losing Livvy didn’t turn me into a saint.

I still get frustrated at my teens.

Still get cross when they act all entitled.

I’m human.

Also none of these feelings ever stop me loving them any less.

It’s ok to need a break now and again.

It’s ok to have a need to be called Sara rather than mom.

It isn’t failing at motherhood.

It isn’t taking my children for granted

It’s being normal.

Its nearly over woo hoo.

So am I the only one breathing a sign of relief now that Christmas is nearly over.


I find it all so stressful, the wrapping of the presents the writing of the cards, the remembering of everyone names and the names of their children. It all sends me to the verge of insanity and lets not even mention the Christmas dinner.


At times i  have actually felt physically sick with all the stress and as you can imagine stress effects my illness and my body seems to just surrender to any virus’s going around. So far i’ve had the sickness bug twice and the flu, migraines you name it I will list it.


Of course the joy on my kids faces on Christmas morning was worth it. Even the teenagers were happy for a couple of hours.


But I am tired to my bones.


Its been a strange one but a good one, as i mentioned the teens have been bearable, the husband helpful and the two little ones well hyper doesn’t seem to come close to describing them. I admit to wishing they had an off switch over the last few days. Why does excitement have to be so loud and Autistic melt downs well they certainly wasn’t on my Christmas list.



So now I could do with just some down time, I’m slightly fed up of Christmas trees and flashing lights, toys going off randomly, gifts left in the living room as the bedrooms are full to bursting. Bins overflowing and half eaten selection packs.


Kids requiring food at least three times at day. ( I miss school dinners).


Television full of Christmas specials of soaps that i never watch throughout the rest of the year. Films that have been watched numerous times before.


Relatives visiting. (of course they were very welcome).

But ……

I  just need my order, my routine and just some peace and quiet.


So yes Christmas was lovely but yes I am ready for it to be over.


Am I alone in feeling this way?

Weight watchers- not working for us

I haven’t blogged about my weight watchers journey for the last few weeks and the reason for this is simple , I haven’t got anywhere.

I can see how weight watchers can work for many but personally I have really struggled.
It’s the portion control I have a problem with, not the size of the portion just the time needed to measure or record.
Maybe the last few weeks have been over hectic but for me to stick to the weight watchers diet requires energy and time two things I have been lacking it a lot.
Creating meals for a family of six Is hard enough as it is without having to measure or weigh things out.
The diet has brought a lot of attention to weight in my home and with three girls two teens and one with real body issues I have had to be really careful.
We have raised our children to eat healthy and it’s very rare you would find junk food in my home but putting a lot of attention on to portion control has left one of my teens a little over obsessed by what they eat and what they weigh.
So although I am well aware that I need to lose weight I need a diet that’s a little less controlled and a little less  in your face.
Weight watchers in a fantastic diet if you thrive on control but for my chaotic world it just isn’t working.

The important things.

Being a mom is in my eyes the greatest gift I could ever ask for. Yet at times I know I forget this. I get caught up in the squabbling the laundry the homework that I forget to just enjoy my children.

I had a great reminder of this today. Eden was manicuring my nails, bless her when it comes to make-up, nails and hair she is trying so hard to educate her disastrous ill styled mother. Anyway we are sitting there waiting for the nails to dry when I realise that for the last twenty minutes my daughter hadn’t shut up. I don’t mean this in a wish I had a gag moment. I mean this in a wow she has so much to share. So much to tell me.

At times I find it easier to let my teenagers get away with hiding in their rooms. The typical teen motto is used widely. But today I realised that this isn’t always the case.

As Eden told me about school,her friends her face was alight. Her smile was contagious. I smiled at what she had been up, laughed at her sheer nerve. It seems today in drama the roles given out included one part for a girl. The damsel in distress role didn’t appeal to my daughter so she convinced one of the boys to play the role. Let’s just say sides were splitting in the drama block today.

I have some amazing kids, I confess I am completely bias. I also know the pain of losing one yet like many other parents I have found that sometimes I am selfish with my time. That extra ten minutes with my book, five more minutes with twitter. These are things that won’t grow up and leave home in the next few years. Things that don’t need me to set the example of how to be a grown up, these things don’t matter. My children do.

Today I had a reminder of the truly important things in my life.