And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about. – Haruki Murakami
I can’t explain why this quote really affected me.
Why it just made perfect sense.
It just seems to be the journey of my life.
Riding the storms,
Not knowing how I survived but finding myself completely changed by the end of it.
It’s as if in the middle of the hurricane the adrenaline fuels your survival mechanism so that you don’t think or feel.
You just survive.
Yet then in the lull of the storm the emotions rise and your heart and mind rage.
I remember the times when I was in hospital with Livvy those scary times when I should have fallen apart I didn’t.
Then afterwards when we returned home and she was well and happy i would burst into tears and the slightest of things.
Our minds are crazy things, they protect us in ways we don’t realise.
The human instinct for survival comes from deep within.
Yet all storms change us and then we have to venture on a journey of self discovery to find out who we are now.
I’m on this journey right now.
The storm has raged for such a long time I’m struggling to recognise who I see in the mirror.
Change has to happen I accept that
It’s how we grow.
Yet sometimes life turns from a brisk wind into a fiery hurricane.
Inflicting damage of the greatest proportions.
It changes you in ways you could never of imagined.
Never have foreseen.
Yet you survive and slowly you have to walk your fingers over your face.
Learn the new lines and creases that have formed.
Search the depths of your mind, count the beats of your heart.
Find the new you.
The one that survived the storm.