After the storm.

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.  – Haruki Murakami



I can’t explain why this quote really affected me.

Why it just made perfect sense.

It just seems to be the journey of my life.

Riding the storms,

"Stormy Weather" by dan ""
“Stormy Weather” by dan “”


Not knowing how I survived but finding myself completely changed by the end of it.

It’s as if in the middle of the hurricane the adrenaline fuels your survival mechanism so that you don’t think or feel.

 You just survive.

Yet then in the lull of the storm the emotions rise and your heart and mind rage.

Hurricane By Victor Habbick

I remember the times when I was in hospital with Livvy those scary times when I should have fallen apart I didn’t.

Then afterwards when we returned home and she was well and happy i would burst into tears and the slightest of things.

Our minds are crazy things, they protect us in ways we don’t realise.

The human instinct for survival comes from deep within.

Yet all storms change us and then we have to venture on a journey of self discovery to find out who we are now.

The aftermath.

I’m on this journey right now.

The storm has raged for such a long time I’m struggling to recognise who I see in the mirror.

Change has to happen I accept that

It’s how we grow.

Yet sometimes life turns from a brisk wind into a fiery hurricane.

Inflicting damage of the greatest proportions.

It changes you in ways you could never of imagined.

Never have foreseen.

Yet you survive and slowly you have to walk your fingers over your face.

Learn the new lines and creases that have formed.

Search the depths of your mind, count the beats of your heart.

Find the new you.

The one that survived the storm.



My children are out to get me!

Seriously I’m beginning to believe my children are out to get me.

I have this image of them huddling together each morning discussing ways to drive me insane. I wonder if it’s 10 points for a raised voice, 20 for a scream and tears well that’s a bulls-eye.


I don’t really believe this for a minute. I am rather blessed with amazing children. Just sometimes I wonder if God really planned for us to survive this thing we call parenthood.


The truth no matter how many parenting books you read or how many episodes of Super Nanny you watch being a parent is blooming hard.


I mean what’s with this growing up thing! Let’s be honest we are all living longer so wouldn’t it be fair to allow our children to be kids a little longer. When did 11 year old’s become too old for dolls and why do 15 year old’s have to have boyfriends?


I know, I know, the problem isn’t with them it’s with me. I’m having the common issue of overprotective parenting. I’m scared of them growing up.


They are changing so quick,  forming their own identities, each so very different but totally awesome.


I  do love this, I love watching them find themselves, but in their own discovery I’m realizing that they need mom a little less.


I feel like I’m on fast forward and I want to hit rewind.


I’m not finding it easy at all (can you tell?). My role in their life is changing and I’m not sure I’m ready to stand back.


Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother.  A child is a child.  They get bigger, older, but grown?  What’s that suppose to mean?  In my heart it don’t mean a thing.  ~Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987


Ok, ok,I’m trying to calm myself down and i’m getting there just slower on the adjustment than they are.


Yes my eldest has a boyfriend who in fact is a great young man, I’m coping.


My second born has decided that she wants to grow old surrounded by a thousand cats, I’m coping


My little one is now only now talking in an American accent with a hand on her hip, I’m coping JUST


Changing but I’m getting there.


I’ve been known to say God was being ironic when he gave this tomboy four girls. I’ve never got that girlie way but I’m learning. Each one of my kids are teaching me in their own unique way. 


Being a mom has changed me more than words could ever express, love, joy, heartache and pain I’m living it all.


And while I may take a quick nosey around their bedrooms for that scoreboard I do love being a mom.


Yes it’s pretty awesome, well close to awesome as it gets when one is trying to survive the teenage years.