Weight of the world

I’m so very tired, yet I’m struggling to sleep. I have no reason for this insomnia beyond the normality of my life.

Do you ever have times when you feel anxious and stressed, but cannot actually pin point the reason behind these feelings? That’s how I’m feeling right now.

My stomach is giving me trouble, headaches a plenty and my memory well I forgot where I left that.

I don’t understand what’s going on, maybe it’s just a bad week with my illness but the truth is I’m actually ok pain wise. Crazy right!

I’m loving having the children off school, even if I confess it is constant.

I wonder if it’s the dismay I feel from the world around me. The riots really shook me. The news is full of horror stories, neglect and selfishness.

Sometimes being part of this world brings me down. I dream of the fairytale land where families are united and friends are true. Where people like to work, learn and respect life and others around them.

I know that world is only in my dreams, human nature doesn’t allow for this to happen, greed, envy will always get in the way.

The truth is I just need to learn how to protect myself from it. Hide in my own bubble, staying true to who I am. It’s not easy. I just want everyone to be happy and content.

I was told today I look like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and that’s exactly how I feel.

I need ideas to help me lower my anxiety and stress and I need to learn how to let go of the things I have no control over.

Any suggestions????

Back and in shock

I’m back from my week at camp. I feel like I’ve travelled into another universe. In the middle of a field in Wem, Shropshire with no television I had managed to convince myself the riots were a mere fabrication of the media.

Returning home I’m struck by the horror of reality.

I don’t know what to make of the scenes of carnage I am witnessing on my television screen.

The irony of it all makes me sick. I have spent a week with some of the bravest people I know. Children fighting for their lives, living with severe disabilities. Parents facing daily battles arguing for necessary equipment to ease, improve their child’s quality of life. Yet I don’t see them taking to the streets looting, stealing, destroying. Using the excuse of feeling sorry for themselves of the life they have to live.

Whatever the reasons there is no excuse for the violence, the sheer horror of what is occurring.

My heart breaks when I think of the way our country Is being portrayed around the world. I hope people will understand that the mindless thugs are a minority of England not the majority.

I think of the homes, businesses, lives destroyed in the last few days and I’m lost. I cannot comprehend how people must be feeling.

I listen, read the rage against the police the politicians and yes I agree mistakes have been made but the fault lies at the feet of the rioters. Nowhere else.

I don’t know what the future holds for our country. I pray that from destruction can come new growth. That changes that can be made.

Right now I pray for peace, may the violence end and may all people be safe.