I’m going to believe in unicorns 

I wasn’t going to write on the Ashley Madison site leak because seriously if you cheat and get caught well then it’s hard shit really. I don’t feel one ounce of pity for the cheater but so much for the spouses whose worlds may have just been torn apart.

Yet after reading post after post and comment and after comment about it I am so tired of peoples sanctimonious attitudes.

Firstly YES adultery is vile it’s one of the lowest things you can do, betraying the person you promised to share your life with.  But those who are condemning others please stay quiet. Are you really that perfect yourself? 

So adultery isn’t your sin of choice but are you really that innocent.? 

We are so quick in this world to condemn others. You only have read the comments on the refugee crisis. Of course everyone trying to flee war, terror and poverty are doing so just to claim benefits here. 

What a load of  


Honestly there is no doubt that in this world there are some shitbags and yes most of them are on the Ashley Madison site but do we really have to been a society that condemns?

I want to see more statuses and more posts about the spouses that are broken-hearted, about sending love to ease their hearts. 

I want to read statuses about the fact that you realise that refugees aren’t to blame for this countries financial issues.

Secondly the truth is this world will always be full of hate and deceitful people but let’s stop giving them space in our world.

Let’s ignore the bad and focus on the good.

Let’s fill our online space with stories full of hope and kindness.

Because no matter how much the worlds media tries to convince me otherwise I believe that this world is full of more good than evil. 

Full of kind, caring, truthful people.

I have to believe this. 

I going to believe in a world full of unicorns and rainbows. 

Why not?

I believe in hope…


Compassion Sunday

Today I want to introduce you to two special members of my family.

Nyiranzayakira and Diana.

I may have never met these beautiful girls but they are my family.

They both have special places in my heart and are always in my prayers.

As a family we sponsor both with the charity Compassion UK

I have mentioned Compassion UK here on my blog before but as today is Compassion Sunday I really wanted to share with you the heart of the charity.


The children


We first started sponsoring Nyiranzayakira about 5 years ago.

My youngest daughter Brodie just felt she was the one for us from the profiles we got to view.

Nyiranzayakira is now 11 years old and she comes from Rwanda.



She loves to learn and help take care of her family.


Diana is 5 and from Tanzania.


She loves to colour and play.


We choose Diana for a very special reason.

Diana was born on the day we lost Livvy.

By sponsoring Diana we hope to give life when one was lost.




Sponsoring these girls has been true gift for us as family.

We love receiving letters and learning about their lives.

Reading about school and how their families are.


Compassion UK are a wonderful charity they work through local churches in poor communities around the world to release children from poverty in Jesus’ name.

Compassion’s Child Sponsorship Programme is the heart of Compassion’s ministry to children living in poverty. It aims to disciple, equip and enable children to develop into fulfilled and responsible adults.

We are so blessed to sponsor these two beautiful girls and having them both in our lives has really enriched them.

Reading and watching these girls flourish has impacted on us as a family.

We value the little things so much more.

I ask you today to consider sponsoring a child with Compassion UK.

For £25 per month you can transform a life of a child.


Tell a child today that you are here for them.


Benefits Street broke my heart.

Last night I sat at watched the conversional program Benefits Street. Its been a weird one for me as part of me didn’t wish to watch it in protest of the appalling way channel 4 have used these people .Yet temptation and inquisitiveness won the battle and for the last four weeks I have followed the story of James Turner Street with millions across the country.

Over the last weeks I have felt so many emotions, I can’t work out if I’m cross with the nation or with the people. What I do know is that the television programme has been made in such a way that it has raised debate all over the country. It has been edited to raise negative attitudes towards the residents and benefit users in general.


The media are  covering stories regarding benefit fraud as if it the worst crime in the country. That everyone claiming benefits is a thief or a scoundrel this is so very wrong and a terrible stereotype to create. Personally I think a closer look and more outrage should be turned towards the millions being lost through tax loopholes and uncollected tax. I think the image below speaks for itself.


Anyway less about this and more about the people, those who really matter. I want to talk about last nights programme. As I sat  watching it I was in tears. James Clarke better known as Fungi is a man who is in serious need of help. The news have been full of his exploits the “big issue” con and so much more but all I saw was a very vulnerable man being used.


Addiction is a cruel disease and while many will talk about it being a choice using drugs they forget the stories behind the people. We should never judge the choices they made.

All I wanted to do last was night was hug this man. When the cameras entered his home I was heartbroken. Animals live better than him. How wrong is this world?

I don’t know James Clarke and I never will but I do know that he needs help. The newspapers are reporting that he has moved out of James Turner Street and his friends are worried for him and so they should be. The article states that the production team are in contact with him and I really hope and pray that this is the truth and he is ok.

I saw a man in need of help.

Addiction is a disease that needs treatment. Suffers need support not condemnation. It destroys lives everyday.  I really hope Fungi is getting the help he needs and I encourage anyone who is suffering to seek help.

There are organisations out there for you, contact one of those, speak to your GP but please take that first step to recover.

Places of help.

Your GP.

Action on Addiction 

Addiction Helper 




Wow I cannot tell you how angry I am feeling right now.

So frustrated by the injustice in this world.

So devastated by my grief.

I am angry that children are dying through hunger when so many have so much.

I am angry that I had I bury my daughter.

So many times I can find my inner sunshine and find peace with this world.

Not today.

Today I am so cross.

I have a rage burning up inside of me.I am so lost.

Normally the peace maker today I want to start a war.

I want to battle against poverty.

I want to fight against Rett syndrome.

I want so much for things to be different.

Today I wonder how to move forward. How to let my heart open again.

It’s hard my husband says I want to save the whole world.

Maybe I’m selfish today because right now I just wish I could have saved Livvy.

Hope in love

Do me a favor?

Walk to your kitchen turn on your tap and grab yourself a glass of water.

How easy was that?

Now open your fridge, cupboards and make yourself a snack.

Do you realise how lucky you are?

I’m not talking about grand meals or expensive drinks.

I’m talking about basics and the fact that over a billion children in this world do not have access to the basic requirements to keep them nourished, to keep them well.

They have no possibility of an education.The opportunity to learn, to help them rise up out of poverty.

Yet they still hold on to hope and that hope could be you.


“Give out of your luxury to meet someone’s necessity”

Patrick – Rend Collective


In 26 countries around the world Compassion is being that hope.

Their child sponsorship programme is right now being the hope to over 1.3 million children.


Hope in the form of food, clothing and healthcare.


Hope in the form of education,


But most importantly


Hope in love


By sponsoring a child with Compassion you can become that hope in love.



You will take a child out of poverty and show them how much they are loved.


You will get to exchange letters of encouragement and kindness.


You will read words that together will form the passage of hope.


Child sponsorship through compassion works. It’s been proved.



Yet the only prove you will really need will be found in your sponsored child’s face.


You can be hope.



Is ok to feel this way?

I’ve had a really strange week, my emotions have been on a journey full of confusion and guilt.

Yes I’ve been feeling guilty.

Guilty for not feeling fulfilled.

That this life just isn’t enough.

That I want more.

I know that I have four amazing children and a great job as a foster mom and I cannot say for a moment that I don’t love being a mom but at times it’s not enough.


I also know I have a marriage that is so blessed and 18 years on we are still happy.


Yet it isn’t enough.

Is it wrong to want more?

Maybe it’s just pre- birthday blues, I don’t know. Yet as I turn 37 tomorrow I am feeling lost and unfulfilled?

Is it ok to feel this way?

Or should being a mother and wife be enough?

Is it wrong to want more?

To want something that’s mine?

When I was younger I used to spend afternoons reading and chatting with my grandad and he always told me to never settle for just enough, always reach for your dreams.

Those afternoons I spend dreaming of my future. The dreams I held.

To write a book.

To stop poverty.

To change the world.

I guess I was an idealistic kid, and slowly my naivety disappeared. But deep down inside of me a little of those dreams still hold on.

Being a mom, being a wife they are all such gifts which I hold dear but it’s as if they are pieces of an unfinished puzzle.

I’m searching for that missing piece that will make me complete. Make me whole.

I’m searching.

I want more.

Is it ok to say that ?


International Women’s Day


So as today is International Woman’s day I’ve been thinking about women who have inspired me.

Now I apologise to mom’s’ Nans and aunts out there but I’m talking this time about women who we don’t know, who we aren’t related too.

Women we dream of meeting.

These are my top three inspirational women who have in someway may a difference to my life.

Maya Angelou
Mother Teresa
Mary The mother of Jesus

Now why Maya Angelou? I could just simply write its just the beauty and raw honestly of her writing that inspires me. I first read her first book “I know why the cage bird sings ” when I was a teenager it changed me then as it does every time I read it.

Yet it’s her audaciousness to change pre-conceptions and her dedication to civi-rights violations that brings my admiration to such great levels.

This is one inspirational lady.

Then we have Mother Teresa, do I really have to explain why I find this lady inspirational. This quiet unassuming nun has been the salvation of so many. In the slums of India she has nursed, cared, fed the poor and worked so tirelessly for the improvement of their lives.

If this wasn’t enough this wonderful lady has written the most beautiful heartfelt words that I have ever read. Her devotion to God is something I inspire to and all this is without mentioning her nobel prize.

My last choice today (all though these woman are in no particular order. ) Is Mary the mother of Jesus.

Now I have written about Mary before, my reverence for the mother of Jesus is something I openly discuss.

For me it’s wasn’t that God chose her to be Jesus mothers though that is certainly an honour. No for me it was her courage to say yes.

Mary knew that her family would shun her, the whole town would judge her. Even her husband to be, yet still she said yes.

She also knew that the son she brought into this world was never going to be leading a normal life, she feared for him but still stood by his side.

Her strength of faith is something I admire so much.

Though beyond remembering women who have inspired us, International Women’s Day is so much more.

It’s a day of remembering the inspirational women we wish to be.

Inspiring us to be the best moms we can be, the best wives, girlfriends etc.

The best friends, colleagues, neighbours etc etc.

Inspiring us to take steps to change the world, stand together to fight poverty, famine and human rights violations.

Times are changing and as women of today we have a voice.

Let it be heard

So happy International Women’s day to every woman in the world you are all inspirational.


Getting to know you.


Tania over at A Larger Family has opened up linky for us all to join in, the question asked is , list ten things we don’t know about you.

Here I go…

  1. I’m scared of clowns

  2. I have 8 tattoos and I am planning more.

  3. I’m allergic to mushrooms, big time

  4. I love notebooks of any kind and have a collection of them which i will use one day.

  5. I hate cooking, I’ve tried but i just cannot find any joy in the kitchen

  6. I hate gossip, and when people talk behind others back. If you have something to say, say it, if not stay quiet.

  7. I cannot stand different sauces on my plate, ie egg and beans, they have to be separated and the idea of beans and ketchup together makes me ill.

  8. My favorite food at the moment is a nice bacon sandwich.

  9. I can’t stand anyone messing with my hair, I put my poor hairdresser through hell.

  10. I am passionate about fighting to end discrimination, poverty and slavery worldwide.

Don’t switch off…

Last weekend we visited the Big Church Day out and we had an incredible time.


Yet I couldn’t understand my husbands reluctance to stay in the market place for long. In fact I was rather cross as I was looking forward to listening to the information about the charities there and learning more about them.


So there I am moaning at my husband for dragging me away thinking that he is just scared I’m going to spend too much money when he finally tells me simply ” he couldn’t face it”‘. The truth was the charities and their imagery had all been to much for him and he had found himself overwhelmed with the amount of different organisations and the real need in the world and he just didn’t know where to start or how to help them and to be honest he knew he couldn’t help them all.


After I apologised for judging him quite harshly I too could see his point of view. There were so many good causes, so where do you start?


This left me wondering about the country in general, I had been eavesdropping on a conversation only the other day in a coffee shop a woman was saying she was getting fed up of charities being everywhere, people stopping her in the street, bags through her door, on the television children in need, soccer aid and so many more she just found herself switching off, like my husband she knew she couldn’t help them all so had stopped trying.


This saddened me, the truth is charities really need people’s help and yes they have to publicise themselves to raise awareness for funding and for most cases funding saves or changes lives.


Awareness means knowledge,

Knowledge means support

Support means lives changed.

Anyway i’m digressing back to my conversation with my husband we chatted a while and I just simply said” follow your heart”. To which I got the puzzled “yeah right” look.


No, seriously I said “ follow your heart”, listen and see what really stirs at your soul. What angers you, what makes you sad, what feeds your passion and support that charity.


If you are saddened by homelessness, support them.


If poverty in the third world breaks your heart, help them


If human trafficking makes you so angry you cannot breathe, fight with them.


Follow your heart


Charities find that when people are affected by the problem they become supporters, for example cancer suffers, people who have lost loved ones to cancer are more likely to support cancer charities, etc, they are following their hearts.


Yes there are so many to choose from, the whole world is in need, but don’t be like that lady in the coffee shop, don’t stop listening, don’t stop caring, let your heart direct you to the cause, charity that you can support with dedication.


For me there are a few


Compassion UK is so close to my heart, no child should live in poverty


Rett syndrome research trust uk, working to find the cure for Rett syndrome the evil that took my baby away.


Human trafficking, a cause that I’m new too but i am learning more about each day. I want to fight with a passion and an anger that burns in my heart, no one should ever be sold. People are not a commodity.

And of course my heart

Livvy’s Smile, creating memories for disabled children and their families

When I talk about the above charities, my heart is filled with a passion. I’m told I light up with emotion.


Why because I follow my heart..


Don’t be dimmed by the masses but be fired up by the few,


And if you are overwhelmed like my husband I simply suggest you listen to what the charity advocates are telling you and see if your heart stirs, if not just thank them for there time and move on.


But never ever switch off.


There is so much need in the world, so many needing help.


Open your heart and listen

One at a time

I’ve been thinking a lot about mothers losing their children, surprise right. Yet the thing that has been laying on my heart is the unpreventable deaths.

I lost Livvy to the evil known as Rett Syndrome. She lost her battle and she had all medical treatment possible, all medications. Access to clean water, food etc.

Around the world mothers are losing children due to the lack of basics. Children are dying simply because they don’t have access to clean water, food or vaccinations against childhood illness.

The hope for our future is in our children. Let’s not allow the place they were born to be a reason for the death of a child.

How much we take for granted.

How much we could change.


The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked,
What are you doing?

The youth replied,
Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they will die.

Son, the man said, don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf.

Then, smiling at the man, he said

I made a difference for that one.

Help make a difference for one, please consider sponsoring a child with Compassion UK.