plus north – Rebel with kindness

It’s been over a week now since Plus North and I have come down to earth with a bang.

I have been watching all the photos from the event going online and I am so cross at myself.

I hid behind my husband.

I look at the ladies all taking selfies together in groups chatting, laughing and I know I let myself down.

Why do I always shy away from friendships?

Oh come on

I know why.

I just don’t feel good enough.

I’m sorry I don’t mean this to be a woe me kind of post.

More Sara you are a stupid so so kind of post.

Why do I let the past control my future?

The evil lies that I was told still be my truth.

I was so determined to go to plus north and really engage in friendship. But I saw beautiful amazing women and I felt inferior.

I hate that I feel this way.

It’s so much more than just plus north. It’s me generally.

I am so very lonely and hate that I do this to myself.

Honestly I am my own worst enemy.

Am I beyond hope?

I may have mentioned a few times that I have been on a journey this last year, one of body confidence.

Actually getting to a place where I like who I see in the mirror.

Its been a crazy ride and one that has happened thanks mainly to the support I have received from the plus size community. Their guidance and truth spoken to me has lifted a self hate that I have had for over 20 years.

It has been so amazing and life changing that I cannot and will not stop harping on about how truly fantastic it is.

One of the real difference’s I have seen in myself is with clothes. I actually love clothes. No more do I turn to the comfortable old favourite of a tee shirt and jeans. Now I love to try different styles and colours.

The only thing stopping me from having a whole new wardrobe is the lack of funds, but hey thats not going to stop me looking and wishing.

Then I noticed a few of the bloggers had created their wish list and i though why the hell not.

Each week I will share with you my outfit of my dreams.

So here’s this week dream wardrobe choice.

I am i love with this Glamorous Black Lace Hepburn Dress from Lady V London it is truly stunning and I think it would be perfect for so many occassions.

I would then add a cute pair of wedges from Yours Clothing.