Changing perspectives 

Have you ever looked in a mirror but not liked what you see? Have you ever allowed someone to tell you that you aren’t good enough? Have to ever told this to yourself? 

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t actually physically see what is in front of me. I see the person my mind is allowing me to see. 

Yet over the years I’ve realised that sometimes my mind is far from right, that I let circumstances and emotions cloud my vision. 

If I’m tired, sad or I’m hurting my vision changes.

If I’ve feeling happy or full of energy the person looking back at me can look so different. 

Perspectives have a lot to play in life, they can enhance some wonderful moments. Take for example ask a husband who has just watched his wife give birth, will he remember the sweat, the screaming or how truly awful his wife looked in labour NO he will remember this beautiful woman who just made him a Dad.  

Yet perspectives can also make the ugly seem horrific and the hard seem impossible.

Now I’m not going to try and tell you I have the answers, I wish I did but I am going to share that finally after many many years I am finally learning that some times I have to change my perspective.  

Change how I view things.

Like right now I am sooooo tired a teething baby has left me exhausted. Night after night of being awake when others sleep. Yes I’m tired but by changing my view I can see how wonderful it is that in his pain my little one wants me to cuddle. That he feels safe enough to fall asleep in my arms. My tiredness seems to ease as I remind myself to cherish all these bonding moments.

So to those out there struggling I’m not going to try and convince you that a change in perspective is going to make everything ok it’s not. It would also be incredibly naive of me to say so. But I will say this, hold on to the fact that you choose how to look upon life. Even in the hardest of moments wonder can be found. 

Believe me when I lost Olivia I never imagined I could change this perspective. The pain was so incredible how could losing a child ever be viewed positively. Well it cannot but I can see how the loss of my beautiful girl challenged me to love on others. To reach out and offer my heart and home to children in need. It didn’t stop the pain but it did challenge my view that I would never laugh again, never love again.

So to those out there right now struggling, may it be with illness, marriage problems, heartache or loss. Hold on, hold on to the fact that right now in the midst of the pain your vision may not allow you to see the full picture. Just remember the paint isn’t dry yet, you have the tools to change the image. Never let circumstances dictate who you see in the mirror. 

You are the artist of your own masterpiece. 

#mybloggingtruth – A challenge to all bloggers

I started my first blog back in the early part of 2008, I wanted to share my life and what it was like raising a severely disabled child. How it could be hard but it could also be truly amazing. In the last 7 years I have seen many changes in the blogging world some good, some not so much. I know it has expanded greatly thats for sure, both in the personal and business world. Bloggers have become influential and can really make a difference to the public perception of a brand or a product.

It will come as no surprise to my regular readers of which I know there may be one or two that I am an emotional writer. My words fall from my heart onto the pages here. Sometimes I read my old posts and think maybe I shouldn’t have shared that or maybe I could have written it different but often I write for freedom and at that time writing that blog post may have given me that.

Sharing your heart here in the virtual world isn’t easy, especially when you put your name to the words. Of course we have all read the anonymous nefarious hate that has been written by trolls but in my book if you don’t put your name to it well then your cowardly shit isn’t worth the webspace you are taking up.

But even the most honest of all writers hide.

Are we really not photoshopping our words, our lives, hiding behind the filters.

Do we really share all our true faults, our failings?

Hands up I know I don’t.

Why would we?

It’s scary being vulnerable.

Well, as a writer who has shared her struggles and also from reading and talking to others what I have learned is that honesty makes people feel less alone.

How many of us moms have really felt that we have had enough, I know have. Seriously at times I wonder if I am cut out to be a mother. I screw up so often that I’m glad my children don’t keep score. Yet when I read blogs that seem full of perfect parenting I truly struggle. Questions like “what did I do wrong”? Raise their mind destroying heads.

Or the blog of the woman who dropped her pregnancy weight in 2 weeks whilst 14 years I still have my baby belly.

The perfect home baking whilst my kitchen looks like a war zone.

All this seems just out of reach.

So I’m setting all bloggers the #mybloggingtruth  challenge.

I want you to write a post sharing your truths.

Be open and be vulnerable and lets come together to celebrate our imperfections, our  struggles and our mishaps.

I will start the ball rolling here’s my truth……  I run away. 

I get so scared of failing that sometimes I’m to scared to try. I hate this about myself, I look back at the opportunities I have missed because of fear. The friendships I didn’t allow to blossom because I didn’t believe in myself. The many times I have said no when my heart really wanted to say yes. So many experiences, prospects lost to my fear.

I’m working on this but  I am truly still a work in progress.

So join in with me, write your post, tweet it to me @livvyssmile and use the hashtag #mybloggingtruth and lets use our words and our truths to make us all feel less alone.

Let our transparency be the the light for others.

Let’s do this, lets share our blogging truths.

Forever Changing

I have an obsession with perception and how it differs from one person to another.

A piece of art to one is a masterpiece yet to another its an eye sore.

A poem can be a beautiful prose for someone yet for another a boring recite.

I’ve heard it be said that eye witnesses accounts are the least useable piece of evidence as people see things differently.

Their perceptions are different, changed by circumstance, placement and time.

I love it

This crazy ever changing world.

20121202-014417.jpg

Nothing is ever the same, the seconds move and that moment ago can never be relived in the same way.

One of my favourite sayings is

Who defines normal ?

What is normal ?

I’m quite sure my normal wouldn’t be the same as yours.

Again this is what I love about life, the changing seasons, the moving galaxies it’s all beyond our wildest imaginations.

This is why I have faith.

I look at a field of green grass and wonder over the fact that every blade is different.

I think about the millions, no billions of people in this world and marvel at the fact that everyone has differences, the sequence of our DNA proves this.

20121202-014457.jpg

We are all Unique

We are all Incredible

There are so many new discoveries made every day that we haven’t a clue what tomorrow will bring.

Something, someone created this universe and to me that what or who is God.

For me my wonder is in God

For me my creation is in God

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13 ESV