Memories and monkeys

Last night I attended the dream night and Twycross Zoo a special event put on for children with disabilities and their families.

It was a fantastic night and the kids had a great time but a part of me was lost in the sadness of my memories.

Twycross zoo is a place full of shadows. Memories of Olivia are mixed up in the monkeys, the gorillas and especially the penguins.

As I walked around the zoo images of her excited face filled my mind.


I could see her walk excitably over to the rabbits den, reaching out to touch their soft fluffy skin.

I see her laughing with joy as the penguins swam around under the water.

Laughing out loud at the gorillas throwing their food.

I saw her everywhere and slowly it ripped open my heart.

Why is it that some days I can remember my baby with joy and peace. Yet others, the memories break apart the tattered pieces of my heart.

I often wonder if the pain will ever ease or will the tears always fill my eyes when I hear her name.

I guess the missing will never get easier.

I just have to get stronger to face it.