The biggest gift for Mother’s Day

I keep promising myself that this year will be different.

That I will find myself genuinely excited for this day .

But here we are on Mothering Sunday and I am finding it hard .

Mothering Sunday or Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate the joy of being a mother. 

I find this hard when I am missing a child.

I know I was blessed to be Olivia’s mom and I know I have four amazing children here to celebrate this day with but my goodness my heart aches for my girl. It cries out in the missing.

I also know that I have the gift of my job. I get to care and love on children who through no fault of their own find themselves in the care system. In need of a home, in need of love and support.

So while Mother’s Day is hard for me and I may have a little cry or ten I am so fulfilled in my heart.

My faith gives me the promise of forever which is something I hold dear. Something that lifts the darkness.

But the true light, the true fulfilment  is found in my children those I gave birth too and those that birthed in my heart. 

Happy Mother’s Day to you all. 

May you cherish your biggest gift today. 

Your children 

I was scared I had forgotten.

Last night I was struggling to sleep my mind was on overdrive and my thoughts were raging.

I had tried to remember a trip I had taken 6 years ago, the memory spurred by a friends comment.

But I couldn’t remember, I knew the day had happened and I had fragments of moments but the whole day was just slipping over the corners of my mind.

I cried.

No that’s a lie I sobbed.

You see I cannot forget.

I cannot lose those moments of time.

Times when I had four daughters by my side.

When the quartet was whole.

My memories are so precious, they are all I have to hold on to of Livvy.

All I have to wrap around my heart.

I cannot forget.

So last night the tears fell.

I searched every corner of my mind for this day, for those moments.

But still they didn’t come.

Then in pure exhaustion as I closed my eyes to sleep the day returned.

The memory sprang from Its deep hiding place and gave me peace.

The laughter.

The joy.

The gift of my memories.


Life is so fragile.

We often don’t realise this until it’s gone.

So I say to all, make those memories now.

Share those moments.

Because someday your memories will be the greatest gift you have.

Or the greatest gift you could give.

Happy Fathers Day

Today is Father’s Day the day where we celebrate the men who have raised us and those who help us raise our children.

I hit the jackpot in both these situations.

I have an amazing dad who means more to me than I think he actually knows.

Although he didn’t actual raise me he did inspire me in so many ways.

He has worked so hard to make a good life for himself.

Trying hard and setting a great example. 

My dad is also the best Grandad a girl could ask for.

He idolises his grandchildren those of blood and those of love.

From the moment my girls entered this world they knew their Grandad loved them. 

I love watching them all together.

They have him completely wrapped around their fingers.

From school concerts to exam results he encourages and supports them continually and I know they appreciate that so much.

I also know he misses one little girl so desperately at times that the pain is sometimes etched on his face.

Dad I do wish we had more moments from my childhood to share. 

But as I have become an adult you have been there for me at every moment.

You have listened when I have struggled and held me when I have cried. 

You are an amazing dad and an fantastic Grandad. 

I Love you so much.

Then there is my husband Alan the father of my four girls and foster daddy to our foster son. 

Alan You rock. 

Never could I have wished for a better father for my children than you.

From the moment we found out we were expecting your priority has been your children. 

You work so hard to provide for them and I love your wish to give them the world.

From night time feeds to vomit filled beds you have done it all.

You are one of the reasons I love being a mom, because I get to raise them alongside you.

My children and I are so very lucky to have these two amazing men in our lives.

So from me and the tribe.

Happy fathers dad 



My baby is a teenager.

My baby is 13 today.

How in the world did this happen?

The cute little miss is now heading into the teenage years.

How I love this beautiful girl.

Her sweet kind heart brightens many a day.

Her loving nature is such a gift.

I’ve watched her grow and struggle over the last few years. Losing her sister left such a scar on this precious heart. Yet her kindness and courage has been paramount on our fostering journey.

Her desire and heart to care for others is simply inspiring.

Her energy is infectious and exhausting. She throws herself into everything with such zeal. School sports teams, drama and of course singing her beautiful voice blessing us all.

I cannot believe we have reached this milestone already.

Can I hold on to her a little longer?

My beautiful new teenager, never doubt how loved you are.

Never forget what a gift you are to us and how proud we are to be your parents.

I’m excited to see what the future holds for you and so sure you will bless this world in all that you do.

I love that your biggest ambition is to help others.

Enjoy your special day my beautiful girl.

You are my baby and will always be my baby.

Love you my little wise owl.

Happy 13th Brodie Lea xxxx


A beautiful day on the water

On Sunday I had the joy of spending a day with those I love in a beautiful setting.

We spent the day on a barge travelling down the Llangollen canal.

To be truthful I was nervous about this trip for two reasons.

One having an autistic child on a barge may not be a restful idea.

Two the last time I took this trip we were celebrating the birthday of my beautiful Livvy.

Yet I shouldn’t have worried.

Yes it was exhausting my foster son was up and down like a yo yo but he was also fascinated by the barge, the scenery and especially the friends we were lucky to spend the day with.

Yes my mind was on Livvy a lot throughout the day, I could see her on the barge blowing out her candles trying to kiss her fireman Sam cake. Hanging over the barge sides watching the water as we travelled. I could also see her driving the boat and remembered how much joy she had from that day. Priceless memories.

livvy barge

Yet I didn’t need to worry about these memories as my friends blessed me with chance to share them to openly talk about her and what I was feeling. I cannot tell you what a gift that was.

It certainly made my day extra special.

The barge trip was truly beautiful. The sun shone upon us and the trees protected us in their shade.

The company was wonderful.

The food delightful

The barge was filled with laughter and joy.

Truly beautiful.

If my words don’t convince you maybe my photos will.


IMG_9794barge2 IMG_9796barge3 IMG_9799barge 4 IMG_9813barge 5 IMG_9816barge 6 IMG_9825barge 7 IMG_9831barge 8 IMG_9837barge 9

IMG_9869barge 10
It was a wonderful day and I am so thankful for the friends I got to share it with.
IMG_9880barge best friends
* I did have all three daughters with me but my number two was feeling camera shy xxx


It’s the wrong season for snow

I can’t believe we are nearly at Easter and everywhere is covered in snow. It’s making me crazy. Not that I hate the snow I just think spring really isn’t the season for it. It has its place at Christmas for example.


But with Easter approaching I want to see new life being created.

Buds sprouting through the ground.

Leaves starting to fill out on the trees.

Lambs being born.


Ok ok you get the picture, it’s a time for the new.

Most people see New Year as their new beginnings but for me it’s Easter that has that new start meaning about it.

The reminder of the ultimate sacrifice.

The gift of the cross.

It challenges me to do better.

To be better.

To throw away my overcoat of excuses and to step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown.

Maybe I hibernate in the cold seasons. Maybe I’m solar powered.

Who knows ?

But as the seasons change and time moves on I need to cherish every moment.

Every second, every hour are filled with the breathe of promise.

The gift of creation.

The anticipation of dreams.

New buds, new ideas, new life, new challenges.

The evolution of the seasons.

The evolution of our souls.


Baker days – Review

Cake it’s one of those things that can be eaten on all occasions.

We have wedding cakes

We have christening cakes

Birthday cakes, engagement cakes, new job cakes, new house cakes, graduation cakes and so on.

Cake is universal and pretty much needed at all times.

I mean a cake with a cup of tea can turn an afternoon into an occasion all by itself.

So when I was approached by Baker Days about reviewing one of their cakes I certainly wasn’t going to say no.

Also with mother day approaching I did have a valid excuse to spoil myself.

Baker Days offer a personalised home delivery service for cakes for all occasions or no occasion. You can chose from one of their gorgeous designs or create your own. Add a photo and message and you have created a beautiful personal gift. They have over 500 designs.

Cakes to say I love you

Cakes to say thank you

Congratulations, farewell and so many more.

I chose this beautiful Mother’s Day design.


So I have to be honest when the cake was delivered through my letterbox I wasn’t sure what to expect. Although the site does state it’s a petite letterbox cake with 3-4 servings I was still surprised by the size of it.


Yet although it was tiny I was struck by the beautiful detail and as you can see the design was even better in real life.



The girls though the cake was super cute and couldn’t wait for a taste. I nearly ended up with no photos of it as they had the carving knife out super quick.



We tried the Madeira cake which was just so yummy, soft and with a lovely taste.

I think Baker Days offers a great service and it’s a great idea to send as a gift for any occasion.

The website is so easy to use and you can even have your cake delivered the next day if you order before 2pm.

It’s well worth a try and its something different.

Birthdays are special

I’ve been thinking about birthdays recently and how sometimes we don’t realise how special each one is.

I guess as you get older the excitement wears off, I mean who really wants to be old.

But I believe that we look at it the wrong way.

A birthday marks the passing of another year that you were blessed to be here.

Now I don’t wish to sound maudlin or miserable far from it, I want us to realise the celebration of life.

When my children were younger every birthday had a party, we celebrated with family and friends. It was a celebration a real time to rejoice, but as we all get older its becomes less so.

I think often of Livvy and the fact that we only had 9 birthdays to celebrate with her. I give thanks that we celebrated each one in style.

But it shouldn’t take the fear of loss to make us celebrate each other. Each year we get to spend together is special, it is a gift and should be rightly appreciated as such.

Birthdays are times to let the people you love and cherish know how much you value them.

So be it a 21st or a 42nd let’s celebrate the gift of a year and the blessing of having each other in our lives.


Do It


It’s February 29th, it’s a leap year.

I wonder how many woman are taking the step of proposing to their partners today.

Finding the courage to ask that two become one.

It must be nerve wracking, I’m not sure I could do it. But I wish them all well.

What strikes me really is all the talk of doing something adventurous or exciting on this day that only appears once in four years.

My advice is simply this, if you want to do something amazing, spontaneous, DO IT you don’t have to wait until its a leap year.

Each day is a gift in itself.

If you want to propose to your partner go for it.

If you want to sky dive out of a plane, jump.

Climb a mountain

Race a fast car

Whatever your dream is, go for it.

Life is a crazy thing, nobody knows what tomorrow may bring.

So live each day as the gift it is.

Hug your children

Tell your loved ones you love them

Sign up to support something you believe in.

Enrol on that course you have always wanted to join.

Go for it.

Everyday should be as special as a leap year really, a whole 24 hours given to us by God to cherish, embrace and experience.

Life is a gift get unwrapping.


Be a Christmas blessing

Today as I’m sure you have noticed is the 1st day of December. The day we can start opening up our advent calendars and really let the build up for Christmas begin.

I know my children are really excited. Christmas feels like its actually getting here now.

Yet all around the world Christmas isn’t going to be any different to some children. They will wake up Christmas morning to the same things they always have done, poverty and hunger. There will be no presents under the tree, no Christmas dinner to fill their stomachs.

I look at my life and have to give great thanks for the blessings I have.

It’s these blessings I want to share and the reason why I sponsor a child with Compassion Uk.


For the price of a weekly Starbucks I get to bring hope to a child.

Sponsoring with Compassion is something I am incredibly passionate about and this is why as the season of Christmas begins I want to invite my readers to be a blessing this year.

Please consider sponsoring a child with Compassion UK or maybe make a Christmas gift donation.


Within all the sparkle and hype that comes with this festive season let us stay true to the real reason for Christmas and bring hope to the world.

Let’s support Compassion UK in being the HOPE to children in poverty around the world.