Changing seasons

On November 27, 2018November 27, 2018 By rebelwithkindnessIn Fostering, UncategorisedLeave a comment

I’m not sure how I feel about change. I often find myself facing it begrudgingly. It’s as if I’m scared of rocking the boat, effecting the status quo. I’m so scared at times that I delay what needs to be done rather than put things outside of my control. Yet I’m usually the one telling others to reach for the adventure, push the boundaries, embrace the excitement.

Blooming hypocritical me.

November has been a month of major changes for me. My foster son has moved on after nearly eight years with us. I’m so excited for him and the move is so positive for all of us but it’s a change and I’m so lousy at change. It’s ironic saying this because as a foster carer your life can and does change over night. New placements join your family, some move on and it’s an every changing profession. I know this but it’s never easy. Even when the move is positive and families are reunited or forever families are found there is a semblance of loss that tears at your heart.

Yes you can see how you have impacted a child’s life. How you have been security in an insecure time. Your heart can be full and empty simultaneously. I worry if others will love upon them like I do, keep up to date with appointments, remember their favourite foods or the way they like to dress. It’s not that I believe others cannot love like me it’s just it’s hard to trust and hand over these special hearts.

Yet for us all there are seasons in life and as Autumn gives way to Winter I need to embrace the future and our new season. Excitement for the coming holiday and preparation for the next stage of our journey.

I know what is loved is never lost.

Who knows what the future holds for us as a family?

Who new may join our merry tribe?

What I do know is that whilst change is scary for me it is also exciting. A little flame is building in my heart for our next adventure, wherever, whoever that may be.

Losing myself in space and time

On April 18, 2016 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I can’t explain how I am feeling today.

It’s rather strange I actually feel In two halves.

One half is so happy and so excited for the future. The other is sad and consumed with missing and the past.

Is this normal?

Are any of us ever in one space and time?

time and space

I read a lot about being present and focussing on the here and now, but is that truly possible.

Can we really hold our mind in the present?

Our souls have grown through our memories and experiences. The life lessons we have learned are still actively teaching us.

Emotions, feelings, patterns, experiences aren’t they what control who we are and what we do?

What about those we have lost? If we stayed in the here and now wouldn’t that mean leaving them in the time behind us.

Do we all walk through life with one foot in the future and the other in the past?

Is there actually a present, I mean the next second makes that moment past.

I did warn you that I was feeling a little strange.

I mean for the presence to really exsist, it must mean that for a moment time is just constant, but we know that isn’t the case. Beyond the normal measurements of time that we recognise, seconds, minutes there is something more that is always in movement.

Always moving forward, never still.

Sometimes I wish I could just switch off my mind, I actually surprise myself at times where my thoughts and wonderings go. When I lose myself in my thoughts of the past and recreate memories in my mind I am still moving forward into the future.

So is my mind in the past or in the future?

Any ideas?

past-present-future

A brighter future

On May 7, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Unless you have been in hiding somewhere I am sure you are aware it’s Election Day here in the UK. A day where we take to the polling stations and vote for the party we wish to rule our country.

From the moment I was 18 I have voted. In fact it’s always been important to me and I’ve worked my way through more party manifestos that I care to admit. Because it matters , it matters who I vote for and it matters what they stand for.

I actually started this election countdown with the feeling that I would have to pick the best from a bad bunch. A party who would do the least damage to society, but thankfully my research has let me to believe that there is hope.

My hope isn’t actually coming from the politians themselves but from the new vibration of the people. People who for too long have stayed quiet while they were getting shafted by the elite. People ready to fight for their homes, their services, their lives.

I hope that this continues past the election regardless of the winning party. The political parties are supposed to be there for the people lets keep them accountable.

I want a fairer society where children have hope in their future.

I want a party who plans not fire fights.

I want investment in children services to be a priority. To support and guide children is a lot easier and more successful than building more prisons to house those we let down.

Higher education not at such a high cost.

There needs to be more money given to the disability sector. From the need of more specialist services to respite there needs to be massive changes. Support and finance given towards supporting independence. Carers being recognised for all they do. To be respected and supported. The last government have done serious damage to this community and whoever wins today needs to be quick with changes.

I want our emergency forces to be valued. Our armed services equipped.

Our NHS to become something we can be proud of again. More nurses, less waiting times and quicker referrals.

I want this and so more much.

I want voices to be heard from all not just the elite. Decisions to be made for the majority not the 1%.

I have no problem with the rich getting richer just not to the cost of the rest of society.

Reforms in the banking system and the end of non Dom are a must.

I want a future for all.

Affordable houses, better schools, more support for fighting addiction and definitely more investment in the looked after system.

I want people to feel a pride in Britain again. To respect the values that we once held dear.

Communities to again be the normal. For us all to know our neighbours. To banish the lie that we don’t need each other.

I know I ask a lot and yes I accept that whichever party gets in today will fall short. But I do have hope (well unless the conservatives stay in power).

So people use your vote today. If we want to see change we have to demand it.

Still remember our part doesn’t end today let’s continue to put pressure on. Let’s make sure the new government remembers who it represents.

Let’s give our country hope.

Feeling reflective

On January 18, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Sometimes we have to accept that life isn’t going to go according to plan.

That people aren’t going to stay in your life even if you want them to.

Life moves on, circumstances change and people grow apart.

This doesn’t mean you feel any ill will or wish any harm.

It’s just the acceptance of the ever evolving crazy thing we call life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future and what I want for it.

Devising my plans, aims and goals.

Yet as always as I look forward I to find myself looking back.

Being reflective isn’t a bad thing it helps you understand your journey and how you got to where you are now.

But allowing the past to hold your future to ransom is never a good thing.

So today I am being reflective.

I am sending out love and thanks to those I have met along the way.

I am also aching a little (a lot) for those that are missing.

But I am stepping forward.

Stepping into the great exciting place we call the future.

Excited for the journeys I have yet to take

For the people I have yet to meet

and of course for the memories I have yet to make.

My daughter is at university and i don’t miss her.

On October 28, 2014 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Ok maybe the title of the post was a little inflammatory but it is partly true.

You see my daughter is at university and yes whilst I do miss her I am glad she is gone.

Why?

Its simple she is living her dream.

The destiny her father and I have wanted for her.

She is studying at the university she wanted to attend.

She is loving the subject of her degree

She has made some amazing friends and is having masses of fun.

I am so proud of all she has achieved.

I am super excited for all the future has in store for her.

She is living her life to the full and i am loving watching her grow and change into a beautiful woman.

She is independent and feisty and I love it.

I love her.

It’s not about missing her.

It’s part of parenting.

We raise them and hope and pray we have instilled in them wisdom and strength.

Then we let them go.

It’s the bird flying the nest.

The continuance of life.

It isn’t easy but its not about me, its not about us her parents.

It’s about my child who is now taking the next step on her life’s journey.

As a mother I wouldn’t want anything more than to see my child fulfil her dreams.

So yes I am missing her,

But I am so proud of her for living her dream.

Fostering Network Conference

On October 10, 2014 By rebelwithkindnessIn Fostering, UncategorisedLeave a comment

Last week I attended the Fostering Network Conference in London held in the beautiful surroundings of the BMA House in Tavistock Square.

The conference was open to anyone work worked within the field including, foster carers, social workers, senior management and policy makers.

The theme of the conference was the “Future of Foster Care” and each speaker brought their own interpretation of what this means from their own perspectives and fields.

I cannot fit into one post all that I took away from this conference but what I do really want to share firstly is what I felt was at the heart of the day.

“The children.”

Regardless of which field the speakers came from the core overview was that the needs of the child should always be in the forefront of every decision made and every piece of policy written.

No matter how many professionals involved in a child’s life we should always remember we are the “team around the child”.

The need for a child to be listened to and their views taken into consideration at all times was paramount.

This point was reiterated when we heard from three care leavers who bravely and elegantly shared their care experiences with us.

Each one spoke about the loss of control of their own lives being a hard thing to accept. Whilst they accepted that some decisions needed to be taken by professionals the desire to be consulted, informed was extremely important to them.

They just wanted to be heard.

One explained that for him this was especially important regarding contact and information regarding his birth family. He understood that seeing his birth mother was not a positive thing for him but he still wanted to know about her and who she was.

‘By understanding my mom’s journey I was able to move forward with my own’.

As foster carers we are the ones there with the children every day. This conference was a great reminder that we really need listen to the children but also how important it is for us to advocate for the children with other professionals.

We are their voices and their advocates and this is something we need to be extremely pro-active in doing.

You can find this blog and others written by me over at Foster with Progress Care

Dreaming

On May 30, 2011 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized2 Comments

This may sound crazy but sometimes I believe we get limited by our dreams. Let me try to explain what I mean.

When I was a child of course I went through a variety of dreams, to be a dancer, to join the army. I was so sure that I wouldn’t get married or have children.

Imagine if I had stick to that pathway Only following that dream. I wouldn’t have had the blessing of a wonderful husband or four amazing children.

As I have grown I have watched my dreams change, grow, evolve in ways I could never imagine. Life experiences changing the person I was the person I have become.

My dreams of yesterday seem little compared to my dreams of today.

This is where I find dreams limited, the truth is they are only our dreams of today. Tomorrow is yet to be written.

I’m not saying don’t dream , far from it dreaming is a wonderful way to plan pray and create. Yet when we become so focussed on today’s dream we don’t give space for tomorrows to grow.

I love the term daydream because that is so true. Each day our dreams are for the here the now the present.

I love the gift of our imagination but also accept the fact that we can only see so far down the pathway of life. Accepting this gives me strength I don’t know what tomorrow holds but for today I’m enjoying the daydream.