Tag: friend

No, I’m not OK… 

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized2 Comments

I’m tired of the word O.K.

We hand it about so often that it’s become a nothing word.

It has no meaning.

No substance.

Often we use it because we think we should. 

It’s up there with the sentence “I’m fine”.

It’s polite, it’s expected, it’s crap.

You know what , it’s actually ok not to be ok.

To feel upset, angry, hurt. 

You don’t have to be ok. 

“You look tired is everything alright “?

“I’m ok” No you are not you have been up all night with children and are surviving on caffeine, you are tired and exhausted. You are not ok.

I heard you have lost your job, you ok?

“I’m ok” no you are not you are worried about paying bills finding money for the kids new school uniform. You are feeling rejected and confused. 

“I heard what that woman said to you, are you ok?”

“I’m ok” No You are raging she embarrassed you for no reason other than pure rudeness. You are angry and hurt.

Why do we say I’m ok when it’s obvious we aren’t and why do others take it knowing that we are not? 

Is it politeness?

Is it a fear about getting involved?

Or a general don’t really care ? 

Maybe all of the above, I don’t know but I want to banish I’m ok. 

I’m challenging people today to be open and say “you know what today is hard I’m struggling”. Or even “I’m feeling fantastic today is a good day”.

I also want you to challenge others “I’m ok” when it’s obvious they are not. “Can I help” or simply “I’m here for you”. Could seriously make someone feel less alone. 

Because “I’m ok” can destroy you, it can leave you feeling so isolated . It can make you question yourself and drive yourself crazy ” why aren’t I ok” ? “What did I do wrong? Why do I feel this way?

When the truth is our emotions are part of who we are. We feel, we laugh we cry. We know joy and we know sadness. 

Our emotions are our humanity. 

By pretending we are ok we don’t allow ourselves to validate our hearts. 

Let’s leave the polite bullshit behind and be open and honest. 

Let’s share how we really are feeling today. 

Let’s be be vulnerable. 

Let’s be transparent,

Let’s be true.

No, I’m not ok… 

True love

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Our love isn’t found in the three simple words “I love you”
It’s your actions that makes my heart beat to the lovers drum.

The way you care with all you are.
No only when it’s easy but even more so when it’s hard.

The world is full of red roses and flowers but true love isn’t found in these things.

It’s the fresh cup of coffee you leave quietly for me each morning as you wake to the children.

It’s the popping out to the shop when you are tired and just want to relax.

It’s the way you raise your daughters, with so much love and understanding.

Taxi service and cash point with only a little scowl.

 

True love is staying quiet when you know i’m being unfair.

Or when you simply haven’t a clue what started my rage.

Listening to the same old worries because i’m struggling to reach a decision.

Or listen to the same old stories because I’m simply harping on.

 

Loving is when its too hard,

When your heart is broken and your soul is screaming no more.

Finding the strength to be brave when I cannot.

Holding me night after night as I cry into the early hours.

Watching my missing as you ache also.

 

True love is painting my toe nails on a ward full of laughing nurses.

Of holding my hair as I vomit into the toilet bowl.

Of changing hundreds of dirty bums without more than the occassional moan.

The acceptance of the being the porta loo changer even though I had said we would share.

 

True love is loving me before i knew how to love myself.

Teaching me that promises do get kept.

Of being my constant in a world that keeps changing.

 

True Love is you my dear husband.

From that first bar room meeting nearly 20 years ago.

You have been my everything.

 

Happy Valentine’s Dear Alan.

Heres to a lifetime of me driving you slowly insane.

My friend, my lover, my heart.

I love you, today, tomorrow, forever. xxxx

valentines alan and i

 

 

 

 

 

Dr Maya Angelou

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I was sat watching the sea when I heard the news.

 

My daughter phoned me when I was away to ask me if I had heard the news.

 

Dr Maya Angelou had died.

 

As the waves crashed against the shore.

 

I cried.

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I didn’t know Dr Maya Angelou but when I read ” I know why the cage bird sings” it simply changed me.

Her strength, her determination got me through some dark days.

Her words gave me hope when I didn’t believe in it.

Even when life became lighter her words were still my inspiration.

I devoured her books, her writing, her poetry with a passion.

Her grit, 

Her courage

They filled my heart.

 

Dr Maya Angelou was a fighter, her advocacy in civil rights is a legacy on it’s own.

“She lived a life as a teacher, activist, artist and human being. She was a warrior for equality, tolerance and peace.”

 

Her families statement honour the beautiful lady she was.

 

I am so thankful for the words Dr Maya Angelou shared with the world.

 

Her writings were often close to the inner workings of my mind.

 

I bear one of her quotes on my arm.

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This quote is so true for the writer in me.

 

Yet it’s another which I live my life by.

 

“People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

 

 

Dr Maya Angelou you have left this world a brighter richer place.

 

Your poetry, your stories, your voice have all left such a lasting legacy for the world.

 

Your were an inspiration to many.

 

You were my hope and strength.

 

Thank you Dr Maya Angelou for never giving up.

 

“Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God.”

 

Bless Heaven Dr Maya Angelou as you blessed the earth.