Life is a roller coaster

Today I’m feeling really reflective. I guess birthdays often have that effect on people.

I’m 39 today.

I look at that number and it freaks me out. The following one the big 40 is so scary.

I never used to really consider age.

I’m remember turning 30 was hard for me. I think for a long time I had thought of my parents as being in their 30’s, so I was freaked out that I had reached it.

Yet wow 40 that’s gonna bite.

My 30’s have been one hell of a decade. I have faced more than I could have ever imagined.

Losing Olivia very nearly destroyed me if it hadn’t been for her legacy of strength and her beautiful sisters I’m not sure I would be here.

It’s certainly been a decade of pain.
Still it’s also been one with some hope.

I’ve found a job that I love. I have had my life blessed by children who are not mine from birth but are mine of heart.

I have made fantastic strides in my writing. Seen myself published and had many wonderful experiences thanks to the gift of words.

I’ve also been on what I call “my journey of self loving”. Finally learning to love myself as I am, not how I felt I should be. Modelling and walking a catwalk are things I never ever imagined I would achieve.

My life has been blessed with new friends, yet my heart aches for those that turned away too . Never expected it to be like this and I do desperately have a void in my heart. I miss them.

So I guess it’s been a roller coaster decade. The Ronan Keating song is running about my head on a crazy loop.

“Life is a roller coaster and you just got to ride it”.

 

How blooming true is this!

The ups and downs of my particular ride well, has left me either screaming with joy or sick to my stomach.

Yet my decade isn’t over. From today I have another 364 days to make it count.

I want to push my boundaries before the end of this year.

To challenge myself more.

To make those memories and maybe tip the scales of this decade to the side of the light not the darkness.

To one of joy not pain.

So here’s where I need your help.

What crazy memory making things have you done that you would like to share?

Special places you have been?

Art that needs to be seen?

Books that need to be read?

Food that needs to be tasted.

Sunsets that need to be watched.

I want to really live these last days of my 30’s. I want the decade to hold more joy that pain ( if thats possible).

Help me remember my 30’s with a smile rather than tears.

There is hope.

What a week and its only Wednesday!

I feel as if I have been living a lifetime over these last few days.

I have witnesses some of life’s incredible beauty but also some of life’s devastating darkness.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve often leaves me vulnerable.

My openness to love at all times has also left me exposed for negativity and pain.

 

Still I see life as a gift, a privilege.

So its from this perspective I want to say this.

 

Remember that everyone of us has their own pathway to walk.

Sometimes that path will lead to cross roads,roundabouts and dead-ends.

No one will ever really understand the journey of another.

Shared experiences can and will be different.

Determined by the understanding of the personal heart and mind.

We have to embrace our differences and celebrate each other for who they are.

Live life lifting people up.

Not tearing them down.

 

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As human’s we need to socialise, we need to bond and form relationships.

Its the essence of our humanity.

But sometimes its these very relationships that can lead to the destruction of the human psyche.

 

Having someone in your life is a honour.

The value of a friend is priceless.

The gift of a child.

The love of a partner.

Your heart feels alive with the joy of connection.

 

But honour comes with responsibility.

The commitment should always be about being the light in the life of another.

Be the best friend you can possibly be.

Strive to be the greatest of parents.

The most attentive of partners.

 

Yet lets take this dedication and commitment one step further.

Smile at people on your train.

Thank you barista for their service.

Hold the door for the one behind you.

Accept the point of view of another.

Forgive your enemies.

 

The world is simply falling apart.

The media is full of the horror that is happening in our world today.

War, terrorism, genocide,

Illness, diseases and death.

But we do have hope.

 

That hope is found in our essence of connection.

As I said before its not always easy wearing my heart on my sleeve.

But it gives me freedom.

Freedom to hope

Freedom to have faith.

Faith that compassion and empathy will win the battle of hearts.

That indifference and hate will lose.

 

Because if as human beings we honour and respect each other.

Our spirits our humanity will over come all.

 

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