No, I’m not OK…

On July 31, 2015 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized2 Comments

I’m tired of the word O.K.

We hand it about so often that it’s become a nothing word.

It has no meaning.

No substance.

Often we use it because we think we should.

It’s up there with the sentence “I’m fine”.

It’s polite, it’s expected, it’s crap.

You know what , it’s actually ok not to be ok.

To feel upset, angry, hurt.

You don’t have to be ok.

“You look tired is everything alright “?

“I’m ok” No you are not you have been up all night with children and are surviving on caffeine, you are tired and exhausted. You are not ok.

I heard you have lost your job, you ok?

“I’m ok” no you are not you are worried about paying bills finding money for the kids new school uniform. You are feeling rejected and confused.

“I heard what that woman said to you, are you ok?”

“I’m ok” No You are raging she embarrassed you for no reason other than pure rudeness. You are angry and hurt.

Why do we say I’m ok when it’s obvious we aren’t and why do others take it knowing that we are not?

Is it politeness?

Is it a fear about getting involved?

Or a general don’t really care ?

Maybe all of the above, I don’t know but I want to banish I’m ok.

I’m challenging people today to be open and say “you know what today is hard I’m struggling”. Or even “I’m feeling fantastic today is a good day”.

I also want you to challenge others “I’m ok” when it’s obvious they are not. “Can I help” or simply “I’m here for you”. Could seriously make someone feel less alone.

Because “I’m ok” can destroy you, it can leave you feeling so isolated . It can make you question yourself and drive yourself crazy ” why aren’t I ok” ? “What did I do wrong? Why do I feel this way?

When the truth is our emotions are part of who we are. We feel, we laugh we cry. We know joy and we know sadness.

Our emotions are our humanity.

By pretending we are ok we don’t allow ourselves to validate our hearts.

Let’s leave the polite bullshit behind and be open and honest.

Let’s share how we really are feeling today.

Let’s be be vulnerable.

Let’s be transparent,

Let’s be true.

No, I’m not ok…

Sorry for the lousy service

On March 10, 2014 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

What a crazy few weeks!

Ever since the horrid stomach flu took hold I have been playing a game of catch up. Never getting ahead and only at moments barely scratching the surface.

Life just gets so busy

Life just gets so overwhelming.

I’ve been feeling as if I’m a yo yo on a string.

Up and down

Walk the dog

And the very apt “over the hill.”

I love my busy life, having a household of four incredible kids is exhausting but so much fun.

Yet I’m sure at times God just decides to have a little fun and lump all my appointments together.

We then have to add sickness, exams and birthdays to the mix.

A sprinkle of theatre performances and a topping of a new hamster

And

The final result is a well and truly baked Sara.

Again week I have more appointments a file full of paperwork and a load of blog posts to write.

I also have a university or two to visit.

While planning my charities next event and my ladies get together.

So I apologise that it’s a little quiet around here right now.

I do hope to resume normal service as soon as possible or at least before the kids leave home.

A normal Monday to Friday !!

On October 20, 2012 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized1 Comment

What a week I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster and i’m walking about lost and disordinated. I’m bone weary, the evil stomach virus struck and has robbed me of the little reserves I had left.

Yet life has to carry on, I’m not allowed to be weak its a case of just pull yourself together girl and get on with it.

But what is it?..

The question is haunting me at this time.

I’m juggling too many balls and soon they will drop.

This week I’ve managed to pass my first aid course, take my daughter into a recording studio and complete a newspaper interview and subsequent photos.

Oh and don’t forget the parenting of teens and the caring of a child with disabilities

And the stomach flu.

Yes just a typical Monday to Friday.

So yes I’m tired, I’m weary and I haven’t yet finished.

How do you all find the strength to do everything? To be everything to everyone.

The roles we play are slowly taking over the person I am.

I need head space but all I can think of is un answered emails, unsent thank you cards. Unbought birthday cards.

I need time to not think. Not to be

My brain feels like a clock constantly ticking, the tick tock chime echoing in my mind.

I lie in bed writing lists in my head, praying for a sleep that alludes me.

Tick tock

Yes it’s back to school tomorrow

On January 2, 2012 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized1 Comment

Ok I confess I’m so looking forward to tomorrow.

Yes the children are going back to school.

As much as I love having my children around I’m happy to get back into some form of organised chaos.

Bedtimes can go back to normal.

House can stay tidy for at least a few hours.

Television can stay off.

My mind can be my own for a little while.

I love the quality time the holidays bring me with my children but I am in desperate need of some ME time. Just some space to write, read or maybe just to do nothing.

Dealing with a child with special needs is rewarding but exhausting and to be totally honest I’m shattered.

Dealing with two teenage girls can be brain numbing there is only so many times one can say “stop arguing”.

So yes I’m looking forward to the return to school. The alarm clock, the school journey it all, especially the peace and quiet of those precious hours between 9am and 3pm.

Now if only I could get rid of the hubby for a few hours too.