Is it to late?

I have a confession to make.

This whole university process with my daughter has made me jealous.

It has reminded me how much I wanted a degree.

University was never an option for me when I was younger . Life just got in the way. Now reading my daughters course literature and hearing her talk about lectures has really tore at my heart.

Don’t get me wrong I am so proud of my baby girl out there achieving her dream.

I’m just left with a lot of what if’s.

What if I went back to studying?

What if it didn’t work?

What if I failed?

Am I to old to achieve this dream?

Is it possible?

Can I afford it?

I don’t know right now all I do know is that I want to achieve something so desperately.

Is it to late for me to achieve my dreams?

What do you guys think?


Tweet with kindness or don’t tweet at all.

I must admit that the last week or so i have been glued to my chair watching the antics of the housemates in “Celebrity Big brother” while I have no interest in the counterpart “Big Brother” there is something about the celebrity version that has me hooked.


It’s just the inquisitiveness part of me that just wants to know what these people are really like. The truth not just what we read or hear about them in the media.


So when I heard that Deirdre Kelly aka white dee was entering the house i was so excited i could have wet myself.


Since Benefit Street was shown I have loved this lady. While others saw a benefit scrounger I saw a lady with so much compassion.

Double Dip Neutral


I really admired her courage entering into the big brother house not knowing how she was going to be received.


I also knew that finding herself on show could have really affected her depression but give it up for the lady she wants to better life for her and her children so she walked up those famous steps.


I have loved watching the show, there are characters i am already loving to hate, James for one. Honestly if that man says “let me explain how it was” once more i may scream and surprise ones that i have taken to my heart, George for example. But the front runner and still my favourite is Mrs Kelly.


I love that lady.


So imagine my disgust to come across tweets laughing at her sadness that was shown on last nights episode.


The lady may or may not ( I can’t speak for her) seems to be finding herself on a roller coaster of emotions. Missing her kids, wondering how she got there and generally fighting the evil of depression.


I have seen tweets finding this funny.


Tweets accusing her of faking it for the money


And the worst ones saying that depression is the biggest con of all time.


I wonder what is going wrong in this world when people can say such things.


Why do some thing its ok to tweet such vileness?


Tweet with kindness it won’t kill you.



I only hope that Dee’s children are not reading such crap and are watching the television being super proud of their mom.


I think the world needs an education regarding depression, I have heard it quoted as “rich persons syndrome’. “Benefit scam” and a lot worse.


Depression is a devastating illness which can and does rob life from many.


As for those tweeters i hope everyone unfollows you and that way you can stay being sad and horrid in your own little world.


While i believe and advocate for the freedom of speech I do not believe that people need to be so cruel.


It’s not just about Big Brother its about so much more.


The fact that we have so many turning to social media to breed hate rather than love.


It’s just wrong.


As for me I will be ignoring such crap and will be rooting for Dee to win Celebrity Big Brother and hope that the millions of viewers get to see what I see, one damn fine lady.


I will also being trying to share love and kindess from now on.


[Tweet “Tweet kindness or don’t tweet at all “] is my new motto.



Room to grow – Book Scheme

To say that we are a household of book-lovers is a little of an understatement my husband calls my bedroom the library and my girls rooms are not following that far behind.

Yet over the last year or so I have noticed that the girls were becoming more likely to pick up their smartphone than they were a book. Now I wish this was because they were using a kindle app but no they were mostly using social media to chat with their friends.

Now I can excuse my older two a little as they have to do a giant amount of reading for their forthcoming GCSE’s and A Levels but my little one she has no excuse.

So when I received an email from Room to grow – a book-share scheme I decided it was a perfect way to encourage her back into books.

Room to grow is a children’s bed and furniture website now you may ask what that has to do with books. Well the company was so shocked at the recent statistics regarding the level of literacy in this country that they decided they wanted to do something.

Did you know England is the only developed country producing school leavers who are worse at reading than their Grandparents? According to a recent study by the organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development adults aged 55 to 65 perform better than 16-24 year olds.
A survey by the National Literacy Trust recently revealed that fewer children read in their own time, one in five are embarrassed when caught reading a book and one in three said they only read when they had to.

How truly awful are the above statements. I hate that children are embrassed to be found reading a book. I have spent many hours lost between the pages of a good story.

I have also spend many hours curled up sharing stories with my four girls. Watching their faces and their eager anticipation and what happens next.

Thankfully the company Room to grow were shocked and that they decided to fund a parent book share scheme. The concept is super simple but super fantastic too.

1. A book is sent to you
2. You return the book using our prepaid envelopes
3. You continue to receive books over the course of 3 months (minimum)

I love this


We have already received our first book and my daughter is off on the adventure you can only find between the pages of a book.


I think as parents we have an obligation to introduce our children to the world of books. If not only for the sheer pleasure one can get from reading but for that fact that no matter how quick the worlds technology may grow you always need to be able to read be it on a screen or in a textbook.

The literacy rate should be rising not decreasing.

I’m just so thankful that Room to grow is making an step to encourage this and in the words of the companies director.

“If Room To Grow can help even a single child understand or maintain the joy of reading and create an unending affection of books, then that can only be a good thing.”

Anne Davis, Room To Grow Director





24 hours and counting

I know I’ve been quiet here the last month or so but with the children off school I haven’t really had time to make sense of my thoughts or string words together.

It’s been a weird exhausting holiday we have had lots of fun and made some special memories but its been a hard one too.

My foster son requires complete supervision and that in itself is tiring but add his aversion to sleep you really do have one shattered mommy.

My 12 year old is growing up so quick and we are suffering from what we call the “senior school syndrome”.
You know the one where they go to senior school and turn from sweet little girls into vile stroppy creatures.

The teens have been driving me mad one with her “I’m so embarrassed by my family” attitude and the other with her Aspergers “lets not let mommy out of my sight ” phrase. Between them I have many grey hairs coming through.

So yes I’m shattered and I will put my hands up and say with relief “yes they are going back to school tomorrow”.

Six weeks is too long. I seriously need my routines back. In fact we all do.

I’m hoping they all have a great time back at school being with their friends.

I’m looking forward to spending time with my friends to.

I’m also looking forward to having ten minutes without hearing the word “mom”.

Don’t get me wrong I love being a mom but I’m missing Sara a little.

So the countdown begins

24 hours to go.


Hope in love

Do me a favor?

Walk to your kitchen turn on your tap and grab yourself a glass of water.

How easy was that?

Now open your fridge, cupboards and make yourself a snack.

Do you realise how lucky you are?

I’m not talking about grand meals or expensive drinks.

I’m talking about basics and the fact that over a billion children in this world do not have access to the basic requirements to keep them nourished, to keep them well.

They have no possibility of an education.The opportunity to learn, to help them rise up out of poverty.

Yet they still hold on to hope and that hope could be you.


“Give out of your luxury to meet someone’s necessity”

Patrick – Rend Collective


In 26 countries around the world Compassion is being that hope.

Their child sponsorship programme is right now being the hope to over 1.3 million children.


Hope in the form of food, clothing and healthcare.


Hope in the form of education,


But most importantly


Hope in love


By sponsoring a child with Compassion you can become that hope in love.



You will take a child out of poverty and show them how much they are loved.


You will get to exchange letters of encouragement and kindness.


You will read words that together will form the passage of hope.


Child sponsorship through compassion works. It’s been proved.



Yet the only prove you will really need will be found in your sponsored child’s face.


You can be hope.



Dreams are ageless

Have you ever woken up from your sleep knowing you have had a dream yet for the life of you the remembering is just out of your reach?

I have images, bits ready to piece together, but the complete picture is beyond me.

I remember a pile of schoolbooks on a kitchen table. My desire to continue my education maybe?

I remember seeing a house it was all white with an American porch complete with swing. The white of the house was beautiful in the backdrop of the scenery surrounding the home. My dream home maybe?

Our subconscious is a great place, it’s where we store all of hopes and dreams.

Maybe some of mine were beginning to slip through the veil of dreamland into the world of the awake.
Just not enough yet for me to make sense of.

Whatever the reason it has left me thinking a lot about my future and what it Is I want to achieve.

It’s strange when you are a teenager you feel you have the whole plan ready for the rest of your life. Yet my dreams at the age of 16 are far from the ambitions i have now.

My desires have changed dramatically, the person I am now is far from who I was then.

Life lessons have changed me, the experiences I’ve had, the joy and the sorrow have all left their own individual scars on my heart on my spirit.

I imagine asking my 16 year old self what would I think of being married at 20 and having four beautiful girls. Living through financial struggles, raising a disabled child and then facing the nightmare of losing that child. I think I would have just laughed in your face. At 16 life was supposed to be laughter and fun. I wanted to see the world, party the night away.
A life full of complications and so much pain weren’t on my agenda.

Yet for the last 16 years this is the life I’ve lived. A life I’ve loved for the most, even in the heartache I’ve felt gratitude for the blessings set upon me.

As I watch my eldest start to sit her exams and make plans for the future I have to remind myself that I still have a place left in this world.

I’m only 35 my life journey is only just beginning. Those snatched pieces of my dreams still have time to become my reality.

I want to continue my education. I still dream of that beautiful place I desire to call home.

Dreams are ageless and I’m finally reminding myself of this.

So in the words of Walt Disney

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

I’m slowly finding my courage again and stepping forward to towards my dreams.