Freaky dream 

I’m literally writing this at 4am in the morning after waking up rather freaked out by a dream. I wouldn’t class it as a nightmare but to be honest it has scared the hell out of me. 

Now I’m not into dream analysis and I have no idea what it was trying to tell me, so I’m sharing it all with you as it completely perplexed me and I can’t go back to sleep. 

I dreamt that I was lying on a table of sorts and people were trying to label me. There was a load of faceless people all with one of those old fashioned tags in their hands trying to place them upon me. 

Each label had one word on it , Wife, daughter, writer, woman, music, sad ,feminist, emotional, crier and even cats and so many more I couldn’t read. I think I saw colours too, how blooming strange writing colours on a label? I know there was a flower or two as well, daffodils being one of them for sure. 

The thing was the more labels people placed on me the more suffocated I felt. I actually woke up out of breathe and struggling to breathe.

Now am I freaking out over nothing or is my subconscious trying to tell me something? 

I have been feeling overwhelmed recently but I try not to let myself get tied down by labels or societies expectations. Or do I ?

I do feel at times that the world is full of little groups, cliques and that I will never fit it. But I have felt this way forever. 

So why this dream, and why now?

Any suggestions or ideas? 

I cannot actually explain how weirded out I am by this dream. 

My word for 2015

So as we start the new year I have been thinking a lot about the word I wish to lead me through the next 365 days.

The word that will represent all my hopes and prayers for 2015.

It isn’t easy finding one word which fits all your plans and ideas.

Still after thinking  hard for a while I am going to go with the word.

 

dream

2015 is going to be my year of dreams.

This is a big step out of the ordinary for me.

You see I have never really allowed myself to dream.

Broken promises, painful situations and a lot of disappointment made me believe that dreams were for others and not for me.

It was something I accepted as just life.

I could hope but I couldn’t dream.

I was never the girl who dreamed of her wedding day.

Of the children she would have or career she would achieve.

Anxiety and disbelief stole away my dreams.

I cannot get excited for an event or a holiday until I am actually there and as for promises, well maybe we shouldn’t go there.

But this year is going to be different.

I am going to allow myself to dream and I’m going to see my dreams fulfilled.

I am going to dream that I can and will achieve my goals.

I will attend university.

I will move forward with this blog.

I will further my writing career.

I will put myself forward more.

I will look in the mirror and like what i see.

I will believe in me.

2015 you are my year to dream.

Its scary but it’s time.

How not??

People ask how do I do it? My answer is how can I not?

How do you live when the passion burns inside you?

How do you stop fighting when there is hope?

How do you not write when your mind is full of words?

It’s easier to do than not. I live my life in trust, in faith that there is a reason for all things. I may not know the reasons, at times I don’t even understand them. I just trust.

Life is a gift. A gift to be used to the full. Make each day matter I know I try to.