My word for 2015

So as we start the new year I have been thinking a lot about the word I wish to lead me through the next 365 days.

The word that will represent all my hopes and prayers for 2015.

It isn’t easy finding one word which fits all your plans and ideas.

Still after thinking  hard for a while I am going to go with the word.

 

dream

2015 is going to be my year of dreams.

This is a big step out of the ordinary for me.

You see I have never really allowed myself to dream.

Broken promises, painful situations and a lot of disappointment made me believe that dreams were for others and not for me.

It was something I accepted as just life.

I could hope but I couldn’t dream.

I was never the girl who dreamed of her wedding day.

Of the children she would have or career she would achieve.

Anxiety and disbelief stole away my dreams.

I cannot get excited for an event or a holiday until I am actually there and as for promises, well maybe we shouldn’t go there.

But this year is going to be different.

I am going to allow myself to dream and I’m going to see my dreams fulfilled.

I am going to dream that I can and will achieve my goals.

I will attend university.

I will move forward with this blog.

I will further my writing career.

I will put myself forward more.

I will look in the mirror and like what i see.

I will believe in me.

2015 you are my year to dream.

Its scary but it’s time.

Is it to late?

I have a confession to make.

This whole university process with my daughter has made me jealous.

It has reminded me how much I wanted a degree.

University was never an option for me when I was younger . Life just got in the way. Now reading my daughters course literature and hearing her talk about lectures has really tore at my heart.

Don’t get me wrong I am so proud of my baby girl out there achieving her dream.

I’m just left with a lot of what if’s.

What if I went back to studying?

What if it didn’t work?

What if I failed?

Am I to old to achieve this dream?

Is it possible?

Can I afford it?

I don’t know right now all I do know is that I want to achieve something so desperately.

Is it to late for me to achieve my dreams?

What do you guys think?

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My word for 2014

As per the last few years I have decided to choose a word then represents all I wish to be this new year.

So for 2014 my word is

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I am so tired of being afraid. I struggle with so many fears and they are slowly driving me insane or as I’m sure my loved ones would say have already drove me insane.

No more

This year I am going to be BRAVE

Brave in friendship

Reaching out the hand of friendship. Building friendships old and new and allowing myself to let down my guard.

Brave for family life.

Spending quality time making memories rather than getting bogged down in other things.

Brave in my career

I am determined to push myself both in fostering and my writing and to achieve greater things with them.

Brave (and determined) to build up Livvy’s Smile

Raising more money and awareness so that we can make more memories, create more smiles and also support the causes that are dear to our hearts.

Brave in my studying

Putting the time in to get the qualifications I desire. To eventually get the career I dream of.

Brave in letting go of the past.

Leaving the past where it belongs and concentrating on building a future for my family and I. To stop allowing myself to be hurt all over again.

Brave facing my health fears.

Seeing the specialists, working on my fitness and general improving my health.

So there you go a few of the ways I wish to be Brave this year.

So this is my word for the coming year.

What’s yours?

 

 

 

It shouldn’t be about money

 

I wanted to share this video here simply because I believe in the concept of it completly and I think it should be shown to all senior school children as part of their careers advice.

I work as a foster carer, it is far from the best paid job and at times we struggle to make ends meet. I also work a incredible amount of hours for what seems so little pay.

Yet I am rewarded in ways money can never reach. Watching a child grow, feel safe, learn, trust, flourish is simply something no wage could ever replace.

We need to teach our children to look at what makes them happy. To pursue what will fulfil them. Our working life is getting longer so we need to make sure we are doing something we enjoy, something that means something to us.

Life is to short to not reach for your dreams.

It shouldn’t be about money.

Losing my way

I haven’t blogged for the last few days. I wish I had a valid reason but I don’t, I just needed time out for a while.

Sometimes I get lost in a abyss of stress and frustration trying to answer the questions of “who I am ?”and “what do I want out of life?”

I don’t know why these things happen, some say depression, some say hormones I just simply say “life sucks”

But you know what that’s okay because at times life does suck an its okay you just take a step back and reassess, re-evaluate , what is it you want and what is it you need.

It’s simply a process that we all go through.

Please tell me it is, I’m sure I’m not the only one to feel this way at times.

fulfillment, fulfilment
a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires
More General:
– satisfaction

Fulfilment, satisfaction, happiness are all completely oxymorons to me at this time.

I’m searching but to be honest I haven’t a clue what for.

How silly does that sound?

So please bare with me for a while. I’m hoping that I will do what my mom always tells me to do and “snap out of it”. But mostly I hope I do simply find my direction again.

My way