Unrepairable

Losing a child breaks you in a way that can never be repaired.

You hold yourself together by pieces and patches.

Stress and fear becomes your companion. Imagine if your worse fear can come true everything else is a possibility.

People tell me to not to stress to trust but I did once before and I lost my daughter.

It’s so hard to just believe. To allow myself to let go of fear.

I try, I promise I try but sometimes grief is the only emotion I can fight so anxiety, fear and panic slip in under the radar.

I make myself promise
I’m not going to care as much
I’m going to switch off more
Take a step back from situations that really don’t effect me.

But I don’t, my heart engages before my head.

Life is complicated full of ups and downs and some how I need to learn how to go with the flow.

Any ideas, any suggestions all are welcome, I need 2013 to be the year I take control of my heart.