Tag: books

Dear Daniel

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Dear Daniel, grief, Uncategorized1 Comment

I did it again, I pressed my phone to call your Daddy to ask him if he had put you on your milk yet. Why is my body still waking me a month after we have lost you? Why is my normal no longer my own?

Oh Daniel there are not enough words in the languages of the world to explain how much I’m missing you. Even now as I lie here unable to sleep I know I haven’t accepted the fact that you have gone. I’m a mess, a complete utter mess and for once in my life I do not care. My mind isn’t full of wondering, afraid if others are judging me in my sorrow, I don’t give a monkeys it hurts, it’s agony.

The house still echoes of you, our home, your home, your scent still lingers on the air. I’m still using your shampoo as a body wash so I can smell your sweet scent of strawberries all around me. It’s running out, would it be weird to buy it again? Maybe I will search for an actual strawberry scented body wash. Maybe that’s a compromise. How I hate that word right now “compromise” it feels that’s all I am having to do. Grieve whilst trying to move forward. Rest whilst job hunting, always having to give a little when I really haven’t got a lot left anymore.

I don’t have you anymore.

Oh Danny, I know they will call me soon to collect your equipment and whilst I know you are free from the disabilities that made you need them, letting them go is part of an acceptance I have yet to reach. I’m scared of the emptiness their return will leave behind. I know I have to do it at some point, there is so much to sort out. Your wardrobe is full of new summer clothes you have yet to wear. No sorry clothes you will never wear. This sucks!

Your toy box is still in the living room, your book case full to the brim. Talking of books the new book written by Jacqueline Wilson came today, it shocked my heart. I had forgotten that we had put it on pre-order, “ A new adventure of the Faraway tree” do you think Moonface will still be in it ,maybe Silky too. We loved reading the original written by Enid Blyton together, I’m sure we would have loved this one too. Maybe when I get you home I will read to you. Is that a strange thing to do? Maybe I will just curl up under your blanket with Edgar and read it. Yes I’m going to cry, come on everything is making me cry. Do you know how hard losing you has been?

I guess I need to try and sleep, the irony is that now I have no one waking me at every two hours but I’m sleeping less than ever. I am hiding in my bedroom more than I should be, I’m not sleeping I’m just pretending you are downstairs with your Daddy. I know it’s not helping but let’s be honest nothing does.

Hey beautiful boy, I’m trying I promise I am. Giving up would be easy but I know you and Livvy didn’t teach me that way. Your both fought to live; I promise I will try to honour that. You guys need to help though, sprinkle me with some heart healing dust from heaven, how I wish that was a real thing. I remind myself that I “grieve with Hope” well I’m working on the Hope part, but I’ve got the grieving down perfect.

Oh my gorgeous handsome son, missing you is so so hard. Just to hold your hand in mine once more, yet I know once more is never enough, would never be enough.

So it’s been a month my dear boy, one whole month since your took your last breathe this side of heaven as you lay in my arms. As I held your body close to mine your spirit ran to Jesus.

Until my time comes, until I can run to you and Livvy.

I will miss you

Forever heartbroken

Your Mommy

Xxxx

My beautiful boy xx

Dreams do come true.

On By rebelwithkindnessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Oh, my world, this is a post I have only ever dreamed of being able to post. A dream that my heart has held since I was a very young girl. From the orange exercise books my grandad used to buy me weekly from his pension visit to the post office to today. 

Today, when I get to tell you all that my first book is ready for pre-order. 

I still cannot believe I get to write this!

My book is ready for pre-order woo hoo. 

This is so amazing. 

Writing stories has been something I have always done. I actually cannot remember when I started, I just know I found my escapism in the lives I could create for myself in the stories I wrote.

I could be the Sara I wished I could be. 

When my children were born, the bedtimes stories were often ones made up on the spot, allowing my children to be whoever they wish to be. I wanted them to know that limitations were only those of their imaginations.

Dream it, be it. 

So here I am being my dream, being the Sara I wished I could be. 

A published author. 

Yes me, yes Sara you.

A published author.

Isn’t it beautiful

Available for order.

https://olympiapublishers.com/authors/sara-meredith

My first baby show in 20 years

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I attended my first baby show in over twenty years last weekend. To say I was a little excited is an understatement. I had won the tickets via a Facebook competition and once we got the ok from the hospital It was all go.

Saturday morning little man was  happy and well so we headed to the NEC. I wasn’t sure what to expect as my turtle is 3 in a couple of months. But due to his disabilities he is still in baby stages for many development milestones.

I had my mental list of things I wanted to check out and I have to say I managed to tick them all and some.

The baby show was well set out, plenty of room for pushchairs, wheelchairs and beautiful pregnant women.

The day was pretty awesome and one I so needed. I had a lot of fun and really enjoyed chatting to a lot of the store owners. I also loved spoiling my boy. I mean after all he had been through last week he so deserved a treat or two.

Our first purchase of the day was from the lovely Books and Pieces. The ladies were so lovely, after telling them that little man was blind they suggested some touch and feel books that he will love. The black and white books were suggested by our vision impairment teacher to encourage the little vision he has.

Our next stop was a store that caught my eye was Gigglemind  a company who have designed a car vision mat to inspire babies on journeys. Its a brilliant concept and one that caught my eye not for car journeys but because the colours are what we have been told to use it encourage turtles vision. I was so impressed by this product and as a special needs mom this was amazing as I had been looking at similar mats like this in special needs catalogues and the price difference is rather dramatic. Turtle is already enjoying his mat time. 

Due to his diabetes insipidus Turtle often has very dry skin and i have been searching for a skincare range that was gentle on his skin. Someone had recommended to me the brand Child’s farm so I was rather chuffed to see them at the show. They use natural free-from ingredients and essential oils to produce mild, kind and delicious smelling toiletries. Two bath’s in I am so happy with them. They are so light yet leave his skin feeling lovely.

A week ago Turtle had a Video Fluoroscopic  to check his swallow and after passing with flying colours we were given the permission to move forward with him and solids. He still swallows like a baby so it was important that we started with puree’s etc. For me knowing that he can only have a small amount of food I wanted to make sure that he had a quality product. I was really impressed by the Babease range. Created by a chef using the best quality locally sourced organic ingredients.  Turtle is impressed, and emptied his bowl rather swiftly.

My main reason for attending the baby show was to find myself a new changing bag. Turtle does not travel light and I really need a larger bag to accommodate his changing needs and the extras medical bits that we are now having to carry. After a wander around the show we settled on a PacaPod Mirano Black Changing Bag from Mummy and little me.  Its a lovely bag and seems to be working well. Stylish and functional.

I think my favourite buy of the day was a blanket from Babybird Blankets. Turtle cannot regulate his temperature so we have to have a blanket on hand at all times. The blanket is so beautiful.

I admit it felt a little strange being back at a Baby show, I had only been to one previously and that was when Kennedy was a few week old, she is 21 next month eek.

Besides the strangeness I had a really amazing time. I cannot wait for my next one.

 

 

We did join in on World Book Day

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It was so lovely to see the country celebrating World Book Day last week. It was such fun seeing all the outfits and the imagination that the day brought about. My little one isn’t at school yet so we actually didn’t dress up but I’m sure if he had been given a choice he would have gone for his favourite The Gruffalo.

Still we did join in with the day by doing our favourite thing. We read stories. My little one loves nothing more that to be snuggled up on my lap reading story after story. It’s such a special time for us both and certainly is building up the close bond between us.

These were our reading material for World Book day. We had such fun reading these from the Scholastic World Book Day 2017 range. 


I think the Scarcrows wedding was a big hit for my little man as it’s by his favourite authors but I loved the Peter Rabbit one as it reminds me of those I’ve read to his sisters in the past. 

Writing this I’ve realised that next year little one will be at nursery so maybe it’s time to start planning that World Book Day 2018 outfit now.

No pressure 😳

*A big thank you to Scholastic for these books, we certainly loved them. 

If it’s reading inspiration you’re looking for, Scholastic’s bumper World Book Day Book Club is ready and waiting for you to discover it. Packed with exciting reads from kids’ favourites – like Wimpy Kid, David Walliams, Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler – at pocket-money-friendly prices, and positively bursting with new releases, film tie-ins and home learning activities, the only problem will be choosing what they should spend their £1 World Book Day tokens on. World Book Day tokens can be redeemed online up until 5th May, and every order over £10 will earn the school or nursery of your choice 20% back in free books – so you can spread the joy of reading on World Book Day and all year-round.

Dr Maya Angelou

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I was sat watching the sea when I heard the news.

 

My daughter phoned me when I was away to ask me if I had heard the news.

 

Dr Maya Angelou had died.

 

As the waves crashed against the shore.

 

I cried.

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I didn’t know Dr Maya Angelou but when I read ” I know why the cage bird sings” it simply changed me.

Her strength, her determination got me through some dark days.

Her words gave me hope when I didn’t believe in it.

Even when life became lighter her words were still my inspiration.

I devoured her books, her writing, her poetry with a passion.

Her grit, 

Her courage

They filled my heart.

 

Dr Maya Angelou was a fighter, her advocacy in civil rights is a legacy on it’s own.

“She lived a life as a teacher, activist, artist and human being. She was a warrior for equality, tolerance and peace.”

 

Her families statement honour the beautiful lady she was.

 

I am so thankful for the words Dr Maya Angelou shared with the world.

 

Her writings were often close to the inner workings of my mind.

 

I bear one of her quotes on my arm.

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This quote is so true for the writer in me.

 

Yet it’s another which I live my life by.

 

“People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

 

 

Dr Maya Angelou you have left this world a brighter richer place.

 

Your poetry, your stories, your voice have all left such a lasting legacy for the world.

 

Your were an inspiration to many.

 

You were my hope and strength.

 

Thank you Dr Maya Angelou for never giving up.

 

“Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God.”

 

Bless Heaven Dr Maya Angelou as you blessed the earth.

 

Room to grow – Book Scheme

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

To say that we are a household of book-lovers is a little of an understatement my husband calls my bedroom the library and my girls rooms are not following that far behind.

Yet over the last year or so I have noticed that the girls were becoming more likely to pick up their smartphone than they were a book. Now I wish this was because they were using a kindle app but no they were mostly using social media to chat with their friends.

Now I can excuse my older two a little as they have to do a giant amount of reading for their forthcoming GCSE’s and A Levels but my little one she has no excuse.

So when I received an email from Room to grow – a book-share scheme I decided it was a perfect way to encourage her back into books.

Room to grow is a children’s bed and furniture website now you may ask what that has to do with books. Well the company was so shocked at the recent statistics regarding the level of literacy in this country that they decided they wanted to do something.

Did you know England is the only developed country producing school leavers who are worse at reading than their Grandparents? According to a recent study by the organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development adults aged 55 to 65 perform better than 16-24 year olds.
A survey by the National Literacy Trust recently revealed that fewer children read in their own time, one in five are embarrassed when caught reading a book and one in three said they only read when they had to.

How truly awful are the above statements. I hate that children are embrassed to be found reading a book. I have spent many hours lost between the pages of a good story.

I have also spend many hours curled up sharing stories with my four girls. Watching their faces and their eager anticipation and what happens next.

Thankfully the company Room to grow were shocked and that they decided to fund a parent book share scheme. The concept is super simple but super fantastic too.

1. A book is sent to you
2. You return the book using our prepaid envelopes
3. You continue to receive books over the course of 3 months (minimum)

I love this

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We have already received our first book and my daughter is off on the adventure you can only find between the pages of a book.

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I think as parents we have an obligation to introduce our children to the world of books. If not only for the sheer pleasure one can get from reading but for that fact that no matter how quick the worlds technology may grow you always need to be able to read be it on a screen or in a textbook.

The literacy rate should be rising not decreasing.

I’m just so thankful that Room to grow is making an step to encourage this and in the words of the companies director.

“If Room To Grow can help even a single child understand or maintain the joy of reading and create an unending affection of books, then that can only be a good thing.”

Anne Davis, Room To Grow Director

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Show and Tell Saturday

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Do you remember when you were at primary school? Did you have a show and tell time?

I did.

It was an opportunity to share with your class what you had been up to or what was your favourite thing.

Well I’ve decided to bring show and tell to my blog.

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I’m going hold a “Show and Tell Saturday” and let you know what I’ve been reading, what I’ve been listening too and anything else that I want to share from my week.

I also hope that maybe you will join in and hold your own “Show and Tell Saturday ” and if you do please leave me a link in the comments. I think this will be a nice way of getting to know each other a little more.

So here goes ;

This week I have read the new book by Dan Brown.

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A interesting read but not I think as good as previous ones.

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I’ve been listening to the new album released by Demi Lovato and again a good cd but not with as many outstanding songs as the last one. It may grow on me in time.

It’s been a busy week we have had lots of appointments. Health ones and fostering ones. Thankfully all have gone well and we are now looking forward to our short break next week.

So that’s my Show and Tell Saturday now it’s your turn.

Have fun.

Words & Numbers

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Can you love words and numbers?

Or is it a right brain, left brain kind of thing.

At school I didn’t mind maths lessons and even at times found algebra rather fun, but balancing accounts and spreadsheets is like a personal torture.

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Numbers require so much concentration for me, where as words just fly of the page like music on a song sheet.

In fact I cannot remember learning to read, I know I was an early reader thanks to the many hours spent with my grandad on his lap.

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Books are my escape, I’m not sure i would have survived childhood if it wasn’t for the sanctuary I found between the pages.

I remember the mobile library coming every Thursday and the joy of choosing my eight books to read for that week. I can promise you they were all read and at times come Tuesday I was resorting to reading my brothers books or even worse my moms mills and boons.

Today I’m no different, my husband calls our bedroom a fire hazard , my sister calls it a library.

I may not read eight books a week anymore but I still get through two or three a week.

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My mom used to say I would read the back of cereal packet and that’s true,I’ve also been known to read about the male prostrate while waiting in the doctors surgery.

Books are my utopia and while the invention of the kindle has brought me a little more bedroom space I still love the feel and smell of a new book.

I can’t count the amount of times I have been rudely awoken by a hardback on my nose, you know the one when you fall asleep reading and then the book falls from your grasp to whack you right on your nozzle.

Words are my passion, words are my escape, words are my freedom.

I’m so grateful for the ability to read and have made sure that books were around my girls from an early age. Together we have been on great adventures, solving mysteries with the famous five, off to boarding school with Malory towers.

Books can take you around the world.

Where are your books taking you today ?

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Booksneeze review – Liz Wiehl Eyes of Justice

On By rebelwithkindnessIn reviews, UncategorisedLeave a comment

 

After reading the previous books of Lis Wiehl and the Triple threat club i was really excited to review this one. I actual love Christian crime fiction where i get to combine my two passions into one.

Eyes of Justice certainly didn’t let me down, it had me hooked from the first few pages. I don’t want to share to much of the story as not to give it away but I have to say I was shocked at the beginning at the turn of events and to be honest I wasn’t sure how the books would go on but thankfully thanks to great writing it all worked out great, well kind of.

Lis Wiehl offers you a chance to enter into the world of the serial killer at the same time as being filled with faith and hope, strange i know but it works.

It’s a great crime story that I loved and it was nice to catch up with old characters and be introduced to new.

It’s a easy read and a great way to spend a couple of hours.

I’m already looking forward to the next book.

 

What’s on your bookshelf??

On By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized1 Comment

I’m sure I have mentioned I’m an avid reader. If not I apologise as the truth is I love books. I devour them daily with a passion. My husband refers to my bedroom as a fire hazard my sister called it her library.

Library or Fire Hazard

I love the written word in all forms, fiction, nonfiction, poetry, autobiography, reference and so much more.

I get excited when a recommendation comes my way, or I read a review that catches my eye.

I’m slowly getting used to the concept of the kindle and other E readers but the truth be told my bedside table will always be full of books.

At the moment I have two I’m reading,

Madeleine by Kate McCann

The Stone cutter by Camilla Lackburg

I also have waiting for me Kerry Katonas book along of
course with my range of daily devotionals and of course my bible.

So I throw the question open wants on your bedside table. What books are you reading? Planning to read?

Share them with me and maybe I will be inspired to try a few.