Wow, I’ve been blogging for 7 years

blogging for 7 years

I realised yesterday that I have now been blogging for 7 years this month.

What a lot has happened over the last seven years.

I first took to blogging to share what it was like being a mom of four and how raising a severely disabled child affected our lives. I mainly wanted to share how besides the difficulties how wonderful life could be. How Olivia loved life and lived it to the full. How our family motto was never say never. From iceskating to rock climbing we somehow found a way for our girlie to enjoy it all.

Yet only a month after my first post I was to write through the pain of losing my beautiful girl. How the darkness of grief strove to consume me. How in the depths of despair I somehow managed to find hope.

Writing my grief allowed me to feel less alone, from the comments to the messages so many of you walked along side me. Some never realising how often they were the ones that gave me strength to carry on, yes that’s you Kelly. 

I then shared my journey into fostering, my hopes and my fears but also the joy we felt when we had our first placement. How one little boy became part of our family at the first hello. As you know forever wasn’t going to be ours again and whilst our hearts were torn open and raw my words helped me find some semblance of peace.

On this blog especially I have shared the growing of my beautiful girls how they have stumbled through their teenage years into beautiful young adults, well two have my baby still has a way to go and of course a few more posts for me still to write.

Together we have celebrated their joy, cried with them through their sadness. We have laughed at their drama of which there has been plenty and you have sympathised with me through their tantrums.

This blog is part of my records of my daughters lives and how they have changed me in so many beautiful ways. Taught me patience, resilience and the meaning of pure love.

Through this blog I have had many wonderful opportunities from modelling to  reviews. It’s brought me many online friends who have wonderfully tumbled over into my real life.

This blog has also been a call to action, a place where I have fought for awareness for Rett syndrome and for disability rights. I’ve ranted on politics and so much more and of which I promise there will be many more posts to come.

Where I have written about injustice, screamed about discrimination and cried about tragedy.

This blog, these words are truly my heart in print.

Thank you for being my readers, my friends and for visiting me here in my virtual home.

Thank you for the last seven years and lets hope the next seven are full of love and laughter and plenty of words.

 

thank you 7 years

Ambition and ego in the blogging world.

I’ve been thinking a lot about blogging the last few weeks and why I personally blog. I was started on this thoughtful path after reading a few comments from within the blogging world, comments which upset me. Bloggers arguing with each other and tearing each other down.

This doesn’t sit well with me, to be truthful I was rather emotional about the whole thing.

Then I realised something.

Not all bloggers blog for the same reason I do.

For me I write to free my head of my words. To allow my thoughts to tumble out through my fingers and onto the pages. I also enjoy sharing my dreams and my hopes. My heartache and my struggles. The words are mine, I don’t expect them to influence you in any way, its just me opening my heart to the virtual world. I’m documenting my journey though this crazy thing called life. Even my reviews are written from my perceptive on what I like or what I don’t like. I just like showing you my fashion choices, books I have enjoyed reading and so on.

Still these are my reasons for blogging and they are not everyone else’s.

Some bloggers have ambitions and aspirations for their blog and you know what thats ok.

The problem (is it a problem)? Is when something becomes full of ambition or desire then ego also starts to play a part in it.

Along with our beloved egos comes jealousy and I think this is what has been rearing its head within the blogging community or maybe its always been there and I’m just slow on the uptake <-this has been known to happen.

Now don’t get me wrong I actually don’t have any issue with ambition. In fact I am highly ambitious in my own way in a different field from blogging. I have hopes and goals that I want to achieve.

Blogging for some is a business and you tell me of any business that doesn’t thrive on ambition. Ambition is what feeds growth.

So I guess what I am rambling on about is this, I’ve realised I cannot view the blogging world with my rose tinted glasses anymore. I have to open my eyes and see it as the business, the trade that it is for some.

I have to accept that there will be underhand comments and hurtful things happening. But I don’t have to like it but I can stop it from getting to me.

I don’t have to be as naive, but I also don’t have to change the way I view blogging. Personally for me its about the words, the dreams and the amazing friendships I have made along the way.

I’ve enjoyed widening my experiences, challenging myself, pushing my own limits and I’m not going to let this change.

What I am going to do is work harder on encouraging other bloggers. Congratulate those who have achieved awesome things. Hug those who are struggling and be a better blogging friend.

This little piece of the internet has brought so much into my life and I am truly grateful. Yet I will be constantly reminding myself why I started writing and the core values I set for myself.

Be honest and stay true to me.

It’s a simple statement but it will be my anchor in this crazy choppy virtual world.

be yourself x

We need special dresses for a truly special event.

Now if you read this blog you will  know I am one proud mom, my children are my world.

My girls have faced so much loss in their short lives and yet still have held on to their compassionate hearts which isn’t easy when faced with so much hurt I can promise you that.

Besides being fantastic sisters to Livvy they now have happily opened their hearts and homes to the children we foster.

So when I found out that my youngest was a finalist in The Eleventh Annual Mayor’s Civic Awards I could have cried, ok I did cry.

The Mayor’s Civic Awards are now in their eleventh year honouring local people who make outstanding contributions to the borough and my girlie is one of those they are honouring.

We are all so excited for this special evening but are a little worried about what to wear. We don’t really attend many formal events so this is both exciting and nerve wracking for us all.

Especially for my daughter and I as dress shopping is a little overwhelming for us denim loving ladies.

Still we have been searching the internet for our special dresses for this special event.

Here are our choices.

Brodie and I both fell in love with dresses from Chi Chi Clothing 

Brodie loved this elegant lace skater dress

 

Chi Chi Florence Dress

 

Whilst I fell head over heels with this cap sleeve baroque style maxi dress the detail is simply beautiful.

Chic Chic Avril Dress
Chic Chic Avril Dress

 

These dresses are truly beautiful and would turn a special night into a truly amazing night.

Brodie also fell in love with this stunning dress from New Look 

I love this one and think the colour would really compliment Brodie’s beautiful big blue eyes.

John Zack navy low lace dress
John Zack navy low lace dress

 

I love this Little Mistress Wrap Front Maxi dress from Asos. It’s so special, I am so nervous about this event so making sure I feel good is so important.

 

 

Little mistress wrap front dress
Little mistress wrap front dress

 

Brodie doesn’t have a third choice but this Little mistress emb nude maxi dress.  from Simply Be caught my eye, I love the detail on the top of this dress.

Little mistress nude maxi dress
Little mistress nude maxi dress

 

Brodie and I are both excited and nervous about this event. It is so special that Brodie has been named as a finalist, I am so proud of her.

 

It will also be a wonderful opportunity for us to tell people about Livvy’s Smile.

Me and my girl

 

If any of the brands listed or any other brands would like to work with us on this we would be extremely excited and please email us at walkingwithangels@live.co.uk

 

Blogging should be fun not frightening

Sometimes I find myself sitting at the keyboard completely blank.

Its as if my words have just disappeared.

I want to write words that are wise and full of wisdom.

Yet I am far from wise and as for wisdom, heck i don’t even have wisdom teeth.

When did blogging become frightening for me?

When did i start to feel pressured by my own words?

I wonder if the influx of bloggers has made me more aware of my own writing.

To be honest I haven’t got a clue.

What i do know is that its time I got over myself.

When I started this blog i wrote because I simply loved it.

I wanted to share my life and experiences.

It didn’t matter if anyone actually read it.

My words were simply for me.

So this is where I need to get back to.

Finding my freedom in my words.

Blogging should be fun.

Not frightening.

 

Don’t pity me for being a blogger.

I am getting so tired of seeing the look on the faces of people when I tell them I’m a blogger. It’s as if in that single sentence I have become a second class citizen. As if my writing is nothing but a little hobby that I have taken too far. As if publishing my words is a cry for attention.

This makes me angry probably more than it should, but I am still working on those self belief issues.

You see I don’t write as a hobby.

I don’t write as a cry for attention.

I write and I blog simply because I love it.

When I first published a blog post it was in determination. I wanted to show that raising a child with Special Needs was hard yes, but that it also brought you a lot of joy. I was tired of people feeling sorry for me for having Olivia. I wanted them to see what a gift she was to me.

I wanted to share my ideas and experiences with anyone that was willing to read.

After Olivia died I considered giving up blogging. I felt that I have nothing left to share. Then somehow I found myself writing about my grief and my pain. I expected these posts just be shared between family and friends but then I found other grieving parents contacting me telling me that my words were helping them. That they were finding comfort and strength in my posts.

So I carried on writing

In the last 6 years my blog has become my friend. Its a place I bare my soul and times yes I may over share but I do wear my heart on my sleeve and my writing shows this. I cannot make apologies for who I am.

This blog has been on a journey with me. As my tagline states “a journey through this chaos we call life”.

This blog has brought me some amazing opportunities. I have attended some great events and received the opportunity to write some fantastic reviews.

It has also given me a platform to educate and inform people about Special Needs and Rett Syndrome.

This blog has brought me into contact with people who have become friends, dear friends.

But beyond all this, on this blog I have found freedom.

Freedom to allow the words that have been running around inside my head a place to fall out. The endless journals of bygone days are now being filled here in my virtual diary.

I can accept some may never understand why I blog. But please don’t pity me for being a blogger. I am blooming proud of this piece of cyberspace I call home.