In honour of Livvy

Saturday was an amazing day, we held a Livvy’s Smile Donkey Tea Party.

The sun shone for us, the donkeys behaved and memories were made.

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I had a truly wonderful time.

I got to catch up with old friends and make some new.

I got to listen to laughter as it filled the air.

I got to watch children cover themselves with chocolate and cream as they ate their cakes.

Donkey rides, cart rides and so much more.

Seriously it was awesome.

Yet as I sat at home editing the photos from the day my tears began to fall.

My heart just ached for the missing piece of my puzzle.

Whilst I was blessed with some amazing hugs from some truly incredible children my heart yearned for my little Tinkerbell.

Birmingham Donkey Sanctuary holds a special place in my heart.

Each corner is filled with the echo of my Olivia.

Those first steps she took defying the Drs.

The giggles as she rode her favourite donkey.

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The dirty looks she gave Amber when told to sit up straight.

So many moments, so many memories.

 

I was asked why we started Livvy’s Smile and why I hold events that bring me pain?

It is simple really we started Livvy’s Smile because we are so grateful.

So thankful for the wonderful memories we have stored from Livvy.

Memories that truly get us through the darkness and we just want to give that light to other families.

On Saturday we created those special memories full of chocolate eclairs and cool moms.

Memories that will give us hope through the hard times.

Why do I it when it causes me pain? 

Because I can and because I have to.

I was blessed to be Livvy’s mom, to get to call this amazing girlie my daughter.

Livvy changed my life. 

The realisation that we didn’t have forever taught me to live in the here and now.

To live a life full of laughter and love.

 

So yes hosting these events will always be bittersweet.

I’m sure I will always return home and cry for the missing piece of my heart.

But I will never stop working hard to create memories because each moment, each memory is in honour of my beautiful daughter.

Every smile I see brings her closer.

 

Yes, I know my heart will always ache,

Grief is relentless.

Like a snake it slowly twists around your heart until you cannot breathe.

Your body craves for one more breathe, one more moment.

So as the tears fall I know they do so in honour.

Each teardrop is formed in everlasting love.

Livvy is part of who I am and who I always will be.

Livvy’s Smile is testimony to eternal love. 

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This time next month, I will be modelling at Style XL .

Guess what this time next month I am heading to Birmingham to model at one of the best plus size fashion events in the UK, Style XL. The event is so awesome that after only one year it has been nominated for the “Best Event” at the British Plus Size Awards. Have you got your vote in yet??

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I am so excited to be again part of this event which is looking so fantastic, with brands like Simply Be, Yours, Bon Prix, Jacamo, Monroe Knows, Lady Voluptuous, Chubby Cartwheels, Curvy Kate, Topsy Curvy, Pinup Popup parlour, Claireabella’s Closet, Iridenscene, Nicky Rockets, and not forgetting Apples and Pears the one company I know I am modelling for woo hoo.

So with a line up like this its going to be amazing, but thats not all thats happening, add the MODEL XL final and some fantastic workshops it really is going to be a awesome couple of days.

As for the venue, wit woo take a look at the gorgeous Paragon Hotel, its been having a major facelift over the last months and it looks simply stunning. I cannot wait to boogie the night away here.

So have you got your ticket yet?

If not you better hurry up as tickets are going fast and we are down to the last few so get ordering now.

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Seriously I am so excited, it was at this event last year that I first walked a cat walk and yes whilst I may have bricking it the company of the beautiful ladies that surrounded me gave me a new found confidence that I am simply loving and embracing.

It really is going to be a great weekend, a fantastic event full of amazing plus fashion. Come check out what we all shall be wearing this autumn/winter.

Honestly I cannot wait and don’t forget if you do join us come over and say HI. I will be the one trying not to trip up over my own feet as I strut my stuff ha ha. Seriously though one of the best things about these kind of events is the new people I get to meet. As my Grandad  once told me “Strangers are the friends you have yet to meet” so lets get saying Hello.

 

 

we have style xl

 

 

 

 

#Nationalbestfriendday

Well, yes I’m a day late but hey ho yesterday was National best friend day, and I just want to say a massive thank you to those crazy people I get to call my friends.

Friendship is something I haven’t always found easy, I didn’t really have the best school years. Yet over the last 20 years my life has been blessed by some amazing people.

Friendship has formed on school playgrounds, hospital wards,camping fields, via the plus size community and here on the internet.

I have friends I get to see often and friends I have yet to physically hug but each and everyone has blessed my life.

Friendships are beautiful things and I know I wouldn’t have survived the last 6 years especially without some incredible people who have held me tight and lifted me up.

My Grandad once told me that  “Strangers are friends you have to meet” and this philosophy has stood me well over time and I hope it continues to do so.

So here’s to the strangers I now get to call friends and those I have yet to meet.

I love you all xxx

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Keeping one of my #plussizepromises

Last week following a challenge set by Debz from the The Not So Secret Diary of a Wannabe Princess  I blogged about some promises I was going to keep for myself.

One of those promises was I am going to get my legs out this summer.

Well the last few days have been simply gorgeous and a new beautiful dress from ASOS was the perfect time to keep this promise.

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My legs and guess what, the world didn’t break and I enjoyed the sunshine on my pins.

Honestly after years of hating my legs this is major for me. They are constantly swollen thanks to my illness, but guess what that’s life and I have to remind myself I am beautiful swollen legs and all.

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I am absolutely loving this dress from Asos the detail on the neck and sleeves are just stunning.

 

 

I promise

The beautiful Katt from The Curvy Cupcake  inspired the amazing  Debz at The Not So Secret Diary of a Wannabe Princess to set us all a challenge, the #PlusSizePromise.

The challenge is to blog five promises that we make to ourselves this summer.

Here’s mine.

 

1. Get my legs out, I’m tired of being hot and bothered every summer. This year I’m going to get my milky white legs out and let them breathe.

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2. Take time out for myself. This is something I really need to work on, I need to say NO a little more and give myself some quality time, to read, to enjoy a meal with friends, a nights of dancing and copious amounts of alcohol

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3. To not back out.  I can list you a million reasons why I shouldn’t do something. This summer is the start of me doing less of this. I want to be positive and believe in myself. I CAN DO THIS.

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4. Its not always my fault.  I am so good at blaming myself that it could be considered an art form. I’m happy to blame myself from anything from a squashed spider to a natural disaster.  But guess what it’s not always my fault and this is something I need to learn.

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5. More time for us. To spend some more quality time with my husband. After twenty years of being together we need to start carving time into our schedule for quality time. More romantic meals, walks, cuddles.

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So here are my five promises.

Why don’t you join in x

 

Urban Decay

Last weekend I was invited to spend some time at the Urban Decay store in Selfridges Birmingham to learn a little about their new spring range that  has just hit the stores. I know a little of the Urban Decay products but was super excited to learn more.

   

 

The afternoon was also a great opportunity to meet other bloggers too. I love any chance to network and get to know more bloggers and extend my blog list.

The event was hosted by the beautiful Kirsty who is completely stunning and really knows her beauty products.

  
 

I was really impressed by the Urban Decay products the whole range offers you a fantastic variety. There is something to suit anyone’s personal taste.

From neutrals to bright pinks and purples.

The new range of lip glosses were stunning, really pigmented and I just fell in love with the purple ones.

  
 I need.

The Birmingham Selfridges store also hold a limited amount of the truly beautiful vault. A box of stunning lipsticks and liners.

  
If money was no option I would have left the store an owner of one of these beautiful collections.

At the beginning of the event Kirsty asked us all what products we were interested in learning more about and for many of us the search was on for the perfect foundation. I know for me it’s becoming a long endless search as I have got older I have different needs and wants from a foundation. Kirsty was fantastic in colour matching me with one of the new Naked Skin foundations and after a trial I was sold. The range is fantastic for all skin tones and the foundation gives an amazing coverage yet really does feel weightless.

  
I seriously fell in love with many of the products and left with a bottle of foundation and two amazing eye shadows which are so pigmented they are stunning. Even my husband commented on them and that’s saying something.

  
I now have a wish list of quite a few must have products including that purple lipgloss which I am regretting leaving without. I also would like one of the new individual blushers. 

The Urban Decay range really impressed me and I will certainly be adding to my own as soon as I can.

A big thanks to Kirsty for hosting the event and to Urban Decay Selfridges Birmingham for the invite.

See you soon.

Sugar and Spice

The last few weeks have been crazy my wardrobe of daily choice has simply been what has been ironed. Still that hasn’t stopped me looking at some gorgeous outfits and new summer styles that have been coming out.

A few months back I was on the search for an evening dress for the Mayors Awards evening and I came across the website Curvety  a site full of some beautiful dresses. Fast forward a month I was offered the chance to review one of the dresses that I had been looking at. I wasn’t going to say no was I!

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This Sugar and Spice dress by Kiyonna really caught my eye, I just loved the fishnet neckline which gave me a chance to show of my body art.  I loved the fact that it had a mixture of style and elegance.

The sizing is very generous, the material is beautiful. The dress felt so well made and a pleasure to wear.

I think it would be just right for a romantic meal or a formal event.

 

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Curvety have some amazing clothes for plus size woman, don’t take my word for it go check them out. Maybe you will find that perfect outfit you have been searching for.

 

 

*I was gifted this dress for the purpose of a review but all opinions, views  are my own.