Changing perspectives 

Have you ever looked in a mirror but not liked what you see? Have you ever allowed someone to tell you that you aren’t good enough? Have to ever told this to yourself? 

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t actually physically see what is in front of me. I see the person my mind is allowing me to see. 

Yet over the years I’ve realised that sometimes my mind is far from right, that I let circumstances and emotions cloud my vision. 

If I’m tired, sad or I’m hurting my vision changes.

If I’ve feeling happy or full of energy the person looking back at me can look so different. 

Perspectives have a lot to play in life, they can enhance some wonderful moments. Take for example ask a husband who has just watched his wife give birth, will he remember the sweat, the screaming or how truly awful his wife looked in labour NO he will remember this beautiful woman who just made him a Dad.  

Yet perspectives can also make the ugly seem horrific and the hard seem impossible.

Now I’m not going to try and tell you I have the answers, I wish I did but I am going to share that finally after many many years I am finally learning that some times I have to change my perspective.  

Change how I view things.

Like right now I am sooooo tired a teething baby has left me exhausted. Night after night of being awake when others sleep. Yes I’m tired but by changing my view I can see how wonderful it is that in his pain my little one wants me to cuddle. That he feels safe enough to fall asleep in my arms. My tiredness seems to ease as I remind myself to cherish all these bonding moments.

So to those out there struggling I’m not going to try and convince you that a change in perspective is going to make everything ok it’s not. It would also be incredibly naive of me to say so. But I will say this, hold on to the fact that you choose how to look upon life. Even in the hardest of moments wonder can be found. 

Believe me when I lost Olivia I never imagined I could change this perspective. The pain was so incredible how could losing a child ever be viewed positively. Well it cannot but I can see how the loss of my beautiful girl challenged me to love on others. To reach out and offer my heart and home to children in need. It didn’t stop the pain but it did challenge my view that I would never laugh again, never love again.

So to those out there right now struggling, may it be with illness, marriage problems, heartache or loss. Hold on, hold on to the fact that right now in the midst of the pain your vision may not allow you to see the full picture. Just remember the paint isn’t dry yet, you have the tools to change the image. Never let circumstances dictate who you see in the mirror. 

You are the artist of your own masterpiece. 

A work of art.

If you have read my blog before you will know that I’m a lover of tattoos.

The whole art form has me truly excited.

Two years ago I travelled to the Tattoo Jam to check out my narrowed down list of tattoo artists who i was consider asking  to tattoo my portrait of Olivia and fell in love with Przemyslaw Malachowski from The Dragons Den Studio  in Blackpool straight away.

The talent of this man is truly beyond words.

My portrait of Livvy is amazing and so many people stop me to admire it.

I just love that it captures her essence.

So of course when I had my next major piece of art planned Przemyslaw was the man I wanted to do it.

For me having a tattoo is a really personal thing you have to trust the artist with your body.

There are no do overs. 

So when you find a tattoo artist you trust you are truly lucky.

So on Sunday I found myself in the car starting my two hour journey to the Tattoo Jam.

What can I say.

I think the art speaks for me.

Mary tattoo

It’s truly stunning.

Again Przemyslaw took my vision and turned it into a piece beyond my wildest dreams.

This piece is so important to me.

It’s my faith.

In my heart on my sleeve.

I love it.

Thank you again Przemyslaw for my amazing art and thank you again for being such a genuine guy.

Until the next time.


Dragons den

The Perfect Tattoo

This Saturday my husband and I attended Tattoo Jam 2012 held at Doncaster race course. It is a fantastic event held in high regard by tattoo artists and tattoo lovers alike the second category I certainly fall into.

I had gone to the event with two motives one simply to enjoy myself and two to check out the three tattoo artists I had narrowed down to in my search for a tattooer to tattoo a portrait of my late daughter Olivia.

To be perfectly truthful I still cannot believe how the day turned out. I never intended to come home with a tattoo and it never crossed my mind that I would be getting my portrait done.

But that is exactly what happened!

I introduced myself to one of the tattooist off my list and straight away I felt this was the guy, his smile when he saw Livvy just lifted my heart and call it instinct, call it messages from heaven I haven’t a clue but something in my head was saying ‘ trust him”.

Now that may sound over dramatic “trust him” but it had taken me three years of searching and building up the courage to have this tattoo done. This was Livvy after all it had to be perfect I simply couldn’t cope if it wasn’t just as she was.

So even after having this feeling of this is the guy I still went an checked out the other two artists on my list. Nothing, I felt nothing don’t get me wrong amazing talented artists but not the one.

So anyway we decided to see when he was next free and maybe chat about a trip down to see him when he surprised me by saying RIGHT NOW.

What , seriously was I going to do this right now. Alan laughed at me this ” right now ” had been years in searching and planning. He was right this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. It wasn’t me walking into a shop just because, this was thought about, this mattered.

So there I was lying on a tattoo couch for 5 hours watching an amazing array of people go by.

The Tattoo Jam is a fantastic place not just to appreciate the art on walls but also on the human canvas’s around us.

It was weird it was wonderful and I loved it. There was graffiti art, a tattoo museum, a man drilling through his face and so much. I was in awe it was an incredible place.

I got to chat to some fantastic people as I sat there being tattooed, but no one was more fantastic that my tattooer Przemk. This man is an incredible artist but also a real genuine guy. He made sitting for about five hours of pain actually pleasant. The care and dedication he puts into is work is something I haven’t come across before.

As for my tattoo I can’t explain how I felt when I saw it. I just sobbed, for one second I had my daughter right there back with me. He had captured her very essence in the tattoo, the twinkle in her eye, the little twist of her lips that showed up when she was planning mischief.

I cried, my husband cried. I was speechless it was beyond perfect.

I can not thank Przemk enough for this tattoo I now have Livvy with me wherever I go.

It is hard to describe my joy about my tattoo, perfect, amazing, incredible none of these words come close.

For me I won’t be tattooed by anyone else again, my husband is already planning to be booked in for his first ever tattoo.

So if you are considering getting a tattoo I heartily recommend you take a trip to the seaside town of Blackpool to The Dragon’s Den Studio because Przemek is in a class of his own. If you don’t believe me check out my tattoo…..



Also if somehow this doesn’t convince you of Przemek talent check out the shops Facebook page for photos of some incredible art. The Dragons Den Tattoo Art Studio