Not finding your brave

Over the last few days, I have been searching through some resources to work through with Daniel this week as we highlight the fact that it’s Children mental health week. This is something that I definitely wanted to bring attention to also something that we are living with each and every day. Daniel has a diagnosis of separation anxiety and attachment disorder and although he has worked extremely hard to work through this, the lockdown due to Covid has reared this ugly head big time.

Anyhow back to the conversation about resources, a number I have come across talks about the child finding their brave and maybe I am interrupting this the wrong way but telling a child to be brave can be damaging and also not allowing them to express their fear. I know from personal experience being told crying was a weakness really damaged the way I view the world and myself. 

I am not a psychiatrist and although I do have a degree in therapeutic childcare I speak now as a mom who never wanted her children to be brave, I wanted them to be honest. That it is perfectly ok to be feeling the way you are right now and that together and with the right support we can work our way through it. 

Daniel isn’t a coward if the fear of separation overwhelms him, it doesn’t make him less brave to need to be held in my arms. In fact, it’s extremely brave to trust my arms will keep him safe. 

Whilst I understand that children finding the courage to speak up about their worries and fears is brave, I worry for those that cannot find the words to open their hearts rights now.

Will this definition make them feel less?

I believe the bravest of people are those who are vulnerable, those raise their hands and admit they are scared, that they feel broken. I know for a fact these are my people, the bravest of vulnerable warriors that allow me to be me fears, stresses, worries and all, just me.

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