I’ve always wanted to be prepared to be organised to be ahead, but honestly it seems everytime I try I end up struggling and find myself behind.
Covid 19 has changed a lot in me I mean how couldn’t it? I’ve been literally forced to stay home and think, pray and discover who I am. Who I am when the trappings of the roles I play are removed.
When I cannot be the first who jumps into action at the first call.
Saying yes to things I dont want to and to people who have showed me time and time again that they don’t value my worth.
I have lived chasing the illusion that if I get ahead they will love me, value me.
What I have realised is that by striving to be ahead I’ve missed being present. Always looking forward takes away the here and now.
Covid has and is hard but right now I’m learning to not look ahead but to just be present, right here right now