It happened again, I found myself looking around the room willing myself to fit in. Praying that someone will want me to join, hoping beyond hope I would be liked.
Why do I do this to myself after moving so far forward in finally understanding my own worth here I was in a pit if self doubt, needing to fit into the boxes only I could see.
The crazy thing is I was welcomed, I was wanted but for that moment I could not see it, I could not feel it.
I’m remember vividly looking down at my clothes, judging my outfit, wondering if I had my make up on correctly, all superficial parts of who I am.
When will I learn?
When will I know that who I am is enough, that who I am right now is loved.
I don’t have to wait until I have achieved this goal or finished that course,
Right here and now I am worthy of love, I am loved.
How often do we judge ourselves as unworthy, compare ourselves harshly.
With a world so quick to tell us how to look, who to be it’s never more important than ever to know how loved we are.
Every morning I have to remind myself that God doesn’t not make mistakes, that who I am is his creation.
Every time the fear of rejection tears at my soul I have to stand true to his promises.
I am worthy, I am loved.