There is no time limit on grief, yet recently after spending an afternoon with another bereaved mother I do wonder if the rest of the world has not got this memo.

Is there an unspoken, unwritten set of rules that no one has let me in on?

It breaks my heart to hear another who feels she needs to say no more because her loss has been years not days. Worrying that others will judge or be fed up of her pain.

I so get this, I so understand the agony of the awkward silence. The fear that you will ruin people’s moments.

The pain of loss is timeless, your heart is forever missing a piece.

Yet the world still carries on and time still passes by.

If only the world could understand that our world has forever changed. That the next breathe in will always be different to the one before.

If only people wouldn’t expect us to be the same people we were before, we cannot and never will be.

You see the loss of a child is like no other, I make no apologies for stating that because it isn’t.

A child is a little one full from the top of their heads to the tips of their toes with dreams, aspirations you have for them.

What would they look like, whose characteristics have they inherited?

Will they love music, books, to dance?

Will they prefer science, maths or English?

Will they fall in love, be happy and content?

Can I keep them safe and protected?

From the moment that you hold them in your womb, your arms you life’s destination is their happiness.

Your life’s work is their hearts.

So how can your ever be the same, how can you ever get over it?

How can you ever breathe completely again with a missing piece of your heart.

If only.

* Joining in again with Five minute Friday, take the prompt of the week and let’s the words flow.

3 thoughts on “Only

  1. Sue

    My heart breaks as I read this. I live in constant fear of joining this club to which no one wants membership. You speak truth: “The pain of loss is timeless, your heart is forever missing a piece.” Thank you for being willing to share.


  2. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can’t imagine how painful that must be, but I can understand that things will never be the same and that it’s not something you “get over.” I’m also sorry that you and others in that situation have to deal with people’s insensitivity to that. Visiting from FMF #14.


  3. Sue Hall

    People ask me how many children I have. I say 2 of course, 1 in heaven and 1 on earth. Then they say how sorry they are and then you spend ages making them feel better because they feel awful for making you talk about your child who has died. It’s strange because you don’t want them to be apologising how sad it is and making them feel better and awkward, you want the conversation to be how beautiful and amazing they are. It’s lonely enough for people not to talk about our children as it is this really is so painful isn’t it, but for the time they are mentioned please let it be the moment to embrace them xxxxxx


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