I nearly did it again last night,
I caught the words as they were just about to tumble out of my mouth.
I almost lied to my daughter
Lied to her again.
“ It will be alright’
“it will be ok”
“ You have got this”.
Why do I do this?
Why do I make statements that I know not to be true?
You see life isn’t easy.
It can be cruel and harsh.
It hurts and causes us pain
and sometimes there is nothing we do can change that.
Right now for my girl its the pressure of GCSE’s that suck, but my telling her that all will be ok does not actually make any difference to the outcome.
Yes GCSE suck but me promising her a rosy ending isn’t true.
Of course her results are not the end of the world but the truth is that they do make a difference to her future.
She has to work her way through the endless hours of revision and hopefully she will get the results at the end of it.
There is no gain without pain.
We all have to make choices on how to live life.
How to walk the journey.
Sometimes we will make what we believe are the easy choices but I believe that those are only the shortsighted ones.
For my daughter throwing in the towel in on her GCSE’s seems attractive, she gets to stop stressing and stop putting the hard work in, but her future wont be as easy without those grades.
Yet these GCSE’s are only the beginning of a life of challenges and obstacles and decisions she will have to make. She is going to have to face many choices in life, moments that will hurt her heart and leave her scarred. By lying to her i am not going to make these moments easier I will just make our relationship untrue.
“I’m sorry dear girl that your head feels like it might explode, I’m sorry that teachers cannot see how hard you are working but I’m also sorry that I cannot change these situations for you.
All i can promise you is that I do have your back.
I will walk along side you with no false hopes or fairytales falsehoods but with truth, love and faith,
faith in you.