The thing about grief that drives my heartache is that it doesn’t care.
Its has no discrimination, it will visit the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the healthy and the sick.
It’s not worried if today is a good day or if the moment is wrong, it has its own timing, it sings to it’s own tune.
It fact it is rather rude and has no boundaries at all and no matter how much I try it will not go and sit in the corner for a little while.
The notes are its own and its music we just have to play, often on repeat, over and over. We fall asleep to its unique symphony, we wake to its morning chorus.
Someone once told me I was broken, I don’t think they meant it in the way I understood it but I totally agree.
I am completely broken.
Grief leaves you with a brokenness that you can work through but from which you can never fully heal.
You cannot go back to who you were before your unwelcome visitor came to stay.
Yet in the brokenness you will see light, a gentle flame that holds out refusing to give in to the darkness.
My realisation thanks to my new best friend called grief is that it wouldn’t hurt so deeply if it didn’t matter.
The pain that is tearing at my heart, it’s ok because it’s a testimony
A testimony to love.
You see just like grief, love is another than pops up and won’t leave you alone.
It tangles your heart in web of moments and memories, wonderful heart fluttering emotions.
So grief may be the hardest of emotions that leaves you gasping for breathe, but fight back reminding it that it’s is also one of great celebration,
We loved, we laughed, we lived.
We created those moments that we will cherish for all time.
To live we love.
To love we have to grieve.
So whilst there are times where grief and I will fall out, grief is the friend I will welcome again because my grief is my testimony to my love.