I  am scared of Hope.

That crazy thing that stirs your soul,

That wondrous but frightening emotion that wont let you go.

Encouraging you to believe,

To trust in the future, in the plan.

I cannot hold on to hope the way I wish I could.

The fear of being let down, or broken promises hold my heart back.

I struggle to get excited, the what if’s or the maybe’s hold me hostage.

How I wish I could just embrace hope.

To just let the joy of expectation flow free in my heart.

Let the promise fill my soul.

 

How I wish I could just embrace this,

Scream out to the world my hopes, without fear of embarrassment if they fall through.

I hold tight to my dreams, lock them away in my heart, scared that they wont be.

I so admire those that can step out in faith loudly, as if they are shouting to the world this will be. I step out but I do it quietly, one foot forward but my heart is still holding back.

My friends tell me to believe, that all will be well and my heart it so desires to trust,

To find freedom in faith, in hope.

I know I’m a work in process, at least I’m acknowledging the fact that I need to move forward

To start my walk towards hope.

I so want to,

I want to free myself from the fear of the past and step out in the truth of the future.

It’s not easy, but as I work towards hope,

Maybe you can have hope in me.