A little tense

My home is full of tension right now.

My eldest daughter is home from university and we are all slowly trying to find our places again.

Where we fit in the dynamics of the house.

I do feel for her, university was complete freedom. Pretty much getting to do want you want as long as you get your work done and maybe attend a few lectures. Having her own her own room, working to her own timetable.

I’m so proud of the way she has thrived at university. Completely independent with only the few “I need” phone calls.

So yes coming home to having to share a room with your sister (such hardship) must not be easy. Having to abide by family rules like , put your bowl in the dishwasher (strict parent here).

No truly I do appreciate its hard all sarcasm aside.

Yet still we all have to learn to give a bit.

Her sister needs to stop hating her for making her share a room.

My youngest needs to stop emulating her older sisters one stropping at a time is enough. I also want her to stay 14 for a while, she is my baby. OK I know 14 isn’t a baby but as my last own she always will be my baby.

I also know I have to learn to relax more.

Switch off from the arguments  and stop trying to fix things and keep everyone happy.

I just want my home to be peaceful, to be a place my children what to return too, not the battle zone it feels like now.

To be truthful it’s getting to me.

My children are growing up and yes I raised them to be feisty independent women and now it feels like that is biting me on the butt.

I know growing up isn’t easy, hey I still struggle at nearly 40.

It’s hard finding your place in the world.

I understand  it’s a life stage, that in a few years I will look back with laughter at the drama. It will become an affectionate memory just as the exhausting toddler years are now.

I know as a family we will survive this, we have already survived a hell of a lot more.

Still this mom is tired.

Tired of breaking up arguments.

Tired of feeling guilty that my home isn’t big enough for them to have their own rooms.

Tired of not being good enough.

So girls if you do ever read mom’s blog please know that I love you all with all my heart,

But seriously if the squabbling continues you all will be outside in the tent.

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