I’m not sure how I am feeling right now, yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions. I laughed, I cried and I laughed some more.
There isn’t really a guideline on how to feel I guess, no instruction book on how to celebrate birthdays of those that never reached them.
I know some think i’m strange, that to celebrate the birthday of a child that has passed is wrong or odd. That’s ok, everyone is completely entitled to their own opinion and the fact is grief is so unique. Nobody feels the same, everyone has their own journey through it or as I believe ‘with it’.
I’m struggling to find words to describe yesterday it was one of the hardest days of my life but also one of the most blessed.
From the moment the clock struck the new day the messages started to flood in.
Birthday wishes for my beautiful girl.
Messages, pictures and names drawn in the sand my girl was remembered.
Friends all over the world wishing my girl a Happy 16th.
Yesterday was a blur of family, friendship and cake, it was a truly special day.
It is only now as I sit back and reflect that I really realise how completely amazing it was.
I could not thank people enough for what they gave me yesterday. After many nights of wondering and worrying that my Livvy would be forgotten my heart was swollen by the love I felt and the amount of people who remembered her day.
The fund-raising event for the charity formed in her memory Livvy’s Smile was a great success I don’t yet have a final total raised but I know its in the hundreds which is so wonderful.
Besides the donations I also want to say thank you to those who ate cake with their friends and family in honour of this day. I know I harp on a lot about this but memories are the greatest gift we can give ourselves and I am so blessed that you all made new special ones yesterday in honour of my girl.
So yes I’m not sure how I am really feeling today but what I do know is that my heart is full. My girl was honoured in such a beautiful way and for that I will always be grateful.
Thank you doesn’t seem enough but THANK YOU.