Coming down with a bang after Plus North

It’s been over a week now since Plus North and I have come down to earth with a bang.

I have been watching all the photos from the event going online and I am so cross at myself.

I hid behind my husband.

I look at the ladies all taking selfies together in groups chatting, laughing and I know I let myself down.

Why do I always shy away from friendships?

Oh come on

I know why.

I just don’t feel good enough.

I’m sorry I don’t mean this to be a woe me kind of post.

More Sara you are a stupid so so kind of post.

Why do I let the past control my future?

The evil lies that I was told still be my truth.

I was so determined to go to plus north and really engage in friendship. But I saw beautiful amazing women and I felt inferior.

I hate that I feel this way.

It’s so much more than just plus north. It’s me generally.

I am so very lonely and hate that I do this to myself.

Honestly I am my own worst enemy.

Am I beyond hope?

5 thoughts on “Coming down with a bang after Plus North

  1. I think you do yourself a disservice you lovely woman. I certainly didn’t see you as hiding, we all need support and if, on this occasion, you found it in your husband then that’s just grand! There were dozens of glorious, friendly WONDERFUL women there, many I class as friends but I still took myself off outside for a pep talk from my other half on the phone.
    You are not inferior.
    I know that from me these are just words and until you can recognise it yourself they will remain as just words BUT you are not alone and I for one see you as a beautiful, strong person who anyone would be lucky to spend any kind of time with.
    Take pride from the fact that: You were there, you were loved and you’re going to do it all again next year!!! 🙂 x

    Like

  2. Emma said it perfectly. I only spoke to you briefly but I didn’t see you hiding behind him.

    From what I saw you came as a pair. Equal and enjoying spending time together as well as chatting to other people.

    Xxx

    Like

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