Someone once told me that “happiness is a choice”.
I’m not sure if I fully grasped at the time what they meant but over the last five years I have had to choose.
Choose to be happy.
You see emotions are like waves, sometime’s they can be calm and peaceful.
Yet at moments they can be raging against the elements, wild and unforgiving.
Grief especially is a whirlpool.
It tries it’s hardest to suck you down into the depths of despair.
So I have had to fight.
Fight to be happy.
And you know what thats ok.
I’ve learned a great lesson in life
That happiness isn’t a given.
You have to look for it
At times you really have to search for it.
You have to remind yourself that darkness is only the absence of light.
So you have to look for that light.
I call that light hope.
I find the light in my children’s laughter.
Listening to their plans and dreams for the future.
It’s there in memories that I hold dear to my heart.
Never forgetting the strength and courage of the one I have lost.
I find my light in the knowledge that life is for living.
That I have to make each moment count.
It’s there in the promise that one day I will hold my daughter again.
Sometimes life gets does get hard and I find myself fighting against the waves.
Frightened that I’m drowning.
But I still search for the light.
The promise of a new day.
The chance to make another memory.
I remind myself that although the whirlpool will never leave me.
I don’t have to let it consume me.
Ride the waves
Tomorrow is always a chance for hope.