2013 is nearly over and no matter how hard I try to stay strong and hide behind a smile my heart is still aching.

I’m not good with the celebration of new year simply because I don’t feel like celebrating.

It’s the end of another year without Livvy.

It’s hard because all though I am excited for the future my heart still aches to be back in the time before that unforgettable day in November 2008.

New year is hard for someone who is grieving because there is a realisation that this is a whole year your loved one will not be part off.

And that blooming hurts.

So as I say goodbye to 2013 I am grateful for all the experiences and opportunities it has brought me.

I am blessed by those who have walked beside me. New friends and old.

I am excited for 2014 and all the adventures it will bring.

But I am sad and I think I will always be a little sad until my heart is whole again.

So Happy New Year to all my readers. Thank you for being part of my journey and thank you for allowing me to open my heart here on these pages.

And to all my friends who are grieving I walk beside you.

I also hold on to these words.