I grew up not really having close friends. Family complications left me having no time to build true friendships.
Yet it is something I desperately wish for.
A group of pals to go to lunch with. Someone to text, call when I was feeling low.
Crazy giggles at our kids antics or our spouses blunders.
I want someone I can share my deepest feelings with.
It’s something I have hoped for. For a long time.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a complete sad case. I do have friends but I don’t have close friends and I really don’t know why?
I’m not sure if it is because of my inner fear of rejection. Do I hold people at arms length without realising it?
Am I simply lousy at keeping relationships going? I know I do my own head in at times so I easily accept I could do this to others.
This year has been a hard one and besides my husband I have felt really alone.
I don’t want this.
I want to open my heart to a friend.
Seek advice from someone who really knows me.
To share my hopes and fears and listen to theirs.
I want to be there where my friends need me. To have them know I’m there for them always.
I don’t know why I feel so alone right now, but I do know I want it to be different.
Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. – Muhammad Ali
I want to learn.