I grew up not really having close friends. Family complications left me having no time to build true friendships.
Yet it is something I desperately wish for.
A group of pals to go to lunch with. Someone to text, call when I was feeling low.
Crazy giggles at our kids antics or our spouses blunders.
I want someone I can share my deepest feelings with.
It’s something I have hoped for. For a long time.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not a complete sad case. I do have friends but I don’t have close friends and I really don’t know why?
I’m not sure if it is because of my inner fear of rejection. Do I hold people at arms length without realising it?
Am I simply lousy at keeping relationships going? I know I do my own head in at times so I easily accept I could do this to others.
This year has been a hard one and besides my husband I have felt really alone.
I don’t want this.
I want to open my heart to a friend.
Seek advice from someone who really knows me.
To share my hopes and fears and listen to theirs.
I want to be there where my friends need me. To have them know I’m there for them always.
I don’t know why I feel so alone right now, but I do know I want it to be different.
Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. – Muhammad Ali
I want to learn.
Rebel with kindness 
Aww it has brought a tear to my eyes reading this dear. I’m sorry to hear how you feel and I do understand. It is hard to not have that one special friend that is there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. Someone apart from your hubby to share things with and ask for advice. I have felt lonely so many times and wish I had a few, but great friends that I could go out with for a meal or for shopping here in England. I don’t! I have moved so much in my life so the best friends I have got they live so far away. My very best friend lives in the northern part of Norway and I miss her every day. But at least I have her. She is there for me always. But yes, it does get lonely sometimes here in England, but I think it has helped a lot to get in touch with everyone in the community. It is so many nice people and the ones I have met is so friendly and nice. 🙂 I hope that you can look at me as a friend at some point. I would love to get to know you more as I think you are a great person that I enjoy getting to know. xxx from Mookie/Anne-Lise.
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