This weekend I had to face something I don’t think I was prepared for. Next year my daughter will leave home for university.

That scares the pants off me.

Don’t get me wrong I was aware it was happening. I mean she has been driving me mad about visits and personal statements. Still I don’t think it hit home until she uttered the words ” I have an offer”.

How did this happen?

One moment I was holding my firstborn in my arms and next she is talking about halls, lectures and leaving home.

I so wish I had a rewind switch.

I am so not ready for her to be so grown.

I understand this has to happen and I am also mindful that it is months and a few very important exams away but this still has me reeling today.

She is my firstborn, the one who I learned all about this mothering lark with.

The one I swaddled so badly she nearly suffocated.

The one whose sweet tears broke my heart on the first day of school.

University really?

I am so very proud of her determination to get the career of her dreams. I am so impressed by how hard she works.

But does she really have to be so grown?

This girls drives me to distraction and so many times I have considered packing her bags but the reality that this time next year she will be gone is not one I am ready to acknowledge.

Denial, yes please.