Yesterday I had a bad day.
That’s sounds a little of a understatement as I was rushed into hospital by ambulance struggling to breathe.
After some oxygen and painkillers and a few tests later I was diagnosed with pleurisy and told to have complete rest and plenty of fluids.
Anyway the reason I’m sharing this isn’t for sympathy, though willing to accept that as well but because of what happened with my youngest daughter.
Brodie had been out swimming with her friends when I started to struggle and returned home only to find her mom being taken into an ambulance.
Don’t get me wrong this must be frightening to any child but take in mind the last time Brodie saw Livvy she was being taken away in a one too.
The poor child broke there and then. She fell to the floor in hysterics my heart was breaking for her and after refusing to leave and my explanation the lovely ambulance ladies allowed her onboard to see that I was ok which reassured her a little. Oxygen masks aren’t that reassuring it seems.
It pains me so much that my children have memories like this and even though we focus so much on the blessing Livvy was to our lives. There in the back of their minds they have these traumatic memories.
I know people say time is a great healer but when the worst has happened to you it’s not easy not to go back there again.
I know she didn’t stop worrying until I returned home and today I have also found her watching videos of Livvy.
I hate that I had to lose my daughter but watching my daughters grieve for their sister hurts all over again.
How can I stop their pain?
This was taken the night before we lost our beautiful girl.
The last photo of Brodie and Livvy together.