Sometimes I wonder about life, about the connections we are all supposed to make to survive.

Friendship, marriage and so much more.


I have these connections but somehow i find myself wondering of the truth of them all.


For so long I have wanted to be part of something.


Something so much more than just me.


A group, a set , a club


Yet the baggage of childhood holds me back.


You cannot belong


You aren’t good enough


They will see the real you.


Should that feel wrong “seeing the real me”


Would that be so horrible ?


Is who I am so terrible ?


This is a journey that at times feels like there is no end.


I am tired of being on the outskirts I want to enter in.


But fear holds me back


I’m so scared of rejection.


I guess the real question is this


Is my desire to belong greater than my fear.


I pray so



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