Memories and monkeys

Last night I attended the dream night and Twycross Zoo a special event put on for children with disabilities and their families.

It was a fantastic night and the kids had a great time but a part of me was lost in the sadness of my memories.

Twycross zoo is a place full of shadows. Memories of Olivia are mixed up in the monkeys, the gorillas and especially the penguins.

As I walked around the zoo images of her excited face filled my mind.

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I could see her walk excitably over to the rabbits den, reaching out to touch their soft fluffy skin.

I see her laughing with joy as the penguins swam around under the water.

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Laughing out loud at the gorillas throwing their food.

I saw her everywhere and slowly it ripped open my heart.

Why is it that some days I can remember my baby with joy and peace. Yet others, the memories break apart the tattered pieces of my heart.

I often wonder if the pain will ever ease or will the tears always fill my eyes when I hear her name.

I guess the missing will never get easier.

I just have to get stronger to face it.

3 thoughts on “Memories and monkeys

  1. sue

    We had a family BBQ over the weekend. It was lovely but suddenly I cried. We all went silent because we knew the one person we missed the most wasn’t sitting next to us. It didn’t seem right at all. Then it felt like it was the emptiness place ever. Xccc

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  2. sue

    We had a family BBQ over the weekend. It was lovely but suddenly I cried. We all went silent because we knew the one person we missed the most wasn’t sitting next to us. It didn’t seem right at all. Then it felt like it was the emptiness place ever. Xccc

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  3. Cheryle Woods

    It will be 5 years for me this Sept. certain places I go trigger memories. Sometimes I can feel the joy from it, and other times I just feel pain and the tears flow. Other Moms keep telling me it does get better and the memories actually make you smile. We will keep going forward! Blessings and hugs to you.

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