Changing my story

Sometimes I get tired of the fighting.

Fighting to just be.

Dealing with the pain that breeds inside of me.

The false smile has to slip sometimes.

You are so brave is easily switched to you are falling.

I didn’t ask for this life and at times Im just so angry that I cannot breathe.

Then I feel regret for the anger.

I know I am blessed but sometimes its easier to lament that to give glory.

To give praise when the pain is deep.

To trust when the nightmare lives on.

To seek when all you want to do is hide.

To look to the heavens when the ground is closer.

The story still gets written and jumping a few pages ahead will not change the plot line.

Forwarding the film does not change the ending.

Regardless of the journey the end will be the same.

I crave for a first class trip with a champagne breakfast

A five star room with chocolates on the sheets.

I want to leave behind the crowded waiting rooms and late arrivals.

I want my journey to be as I planned.

As I dreamed as a young girl.

The life I had promised myself.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

I walk in faith.

I’m changing my story.

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