I wonder if i live in a permanent state of denial. Simply the refusal to accept.
I know that one day I will see my daughter again but the truth is i have another lifetime to live without her.
Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense, I want to line up the facts and some how, someway find a reason for her loss.
But the equation has no value.
Rett syndrome doesn’t always mean death.
So sometimes I pretend
I dive into the world of make believe.
I imagine her at school, playing with her friends, ignoring the requests of her teachers.
I can picture her in detail even down to the remnants of her dinner of her blouse collar.
Her sweet smile lighting up the classroom, her teachers trying so hard to be stern but giving in to the mischievous grin she shows them.
Her hands, her smooth soft hands, clapping in eager anticipation.
Denial???
Creative ???
Imaginative ???
Survivalist ????
Whatever you call it for me that split second is my stairway to heaven.
My gateway to my daughter.
My dive into eternity.
Rebel with kindness 
I am so thankful that God has promised that we will see our loved ones again someday. I miss those people in my life that have passed on and long to hug and talk to again. I pray your heart finds comfort during these difficult moments.
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Thank you, eternity is my comfort x
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What a wonderful way to remember and cherish!
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Thank you, my memories my biggest gift x
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Here from FMF. 🙂
I have to admit after I read your post I snuck over to you “About Me” page to find out more of your story. What a great story of redemption. And I want to say that I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. But how awesome to know that you will see your daughter again one day! Praying for you as you dive into the new year and the new things God has for you and your family. Grace and peace.
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Thank you so much for visiting and taking the time to read my about me page. I was so blessed to be Livvys mother and eternity will reunite us forever x
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