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Merry Christmas

On December 25, 2012 By rebelwithkindnessIn Uncategorised, Uncategorized

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
(Isaiah 9:6, NIV)

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Oh pop, EEG showed seizures were evident and we have to start a new medication. I wasn’t sure and was praying they wasn’t but it seems to be. A quick cry and then I will pick myself up.

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I could cry I’ve tried everything to get Daniel to sleep tonight but the moment he feels me pull away he literally shakes and cries. Attachment disorder is hard, hard for those who struggle with it, for Daniel the fear of being left overpowers everything. It’s hard for those living those with it. How I wish my son wouldn’t feel this fear, that he would not have faced life experiences that left him fearful, that left him alone. I know I cannot change the past but I can just keep being here when he needs me. That’s all I can do. As for sleep who needs that pesky thing 😳

I literally only left Daniel with his sister @brodiemeredithx for a minute 😳 sorry Daniel. The last photo is epic xxx

How exciting is this 11 days to go before my children’s book is released. I cannot wait to hear all your opinions after reading it. Xxx

Grief is mean it’s a vicious smack in the face kind of mean. It comes when you expect it but also raises its head when you are unprepared. Today was one of those unexpected days. I was watching the school leavers video for Daniels school and found myself sobbing. Not for Daniel (he isn’t leaving for a few years yet) but for Livvy who loved this school with a passion. As I watched the photos of the children throughout the school years my memories came flooding back. From nursery to reception to year on, two, stop no more memories. It’s been 12 years since I lost Livvy but as the tears fell today I was just overwhelmed by the what should have been. Every time I try and convince myself I have accepted her passing grief laughs in my face. Grief is mean, cruel, mean and it hurts today as it did 12 years ago.

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