Losing a child Is the worst pain I could ever describe. It’s unbearable, it’s inconsolable its everything your nightmares are made off.
You close your eyes and pray that tomorrow you may wake up to find that it all has been a horrid dream.
Then you realise its a truth and the pain hits you again like lava from a volcano , burning deep into your soul.
It’s been over three years since we lost Livvy and while the pain still burns deep I have gotten better at coping with it, holding It in.
Yet what I still struggle with desperately is people’s reluctantance to talk about her, she has become the elephant In the room.
People suddenly change the subject or at times simply ignore the conversation.
It’s as if not mentioning her stops the pain, but the truth is it doesn’t. In fact it adds to it.
I want to reminisce ,smile at our shared memories. Talk about how much Livvy would have enjoyed this or that. Chat about the mischievous ways she had, laugh about the mischief she is getting up to In heaven.
This last week away I was allowed to do this, I was encouraged to remember. Friends shared their memories with me, we laughed, we cried, we cherished.
This week has healed me a little more.
My friends have held me in their arms and let me remember and this is the greatest gift they could have given me.
Livvy is not the elephant In the room, she is a amazing young lady who shared our lives for such a short time, she is my beautiful daughter who will share my heart forever.
Until we meet again.