I’ve done it again.
Closed down the hatch and bolted it tight.
Pulled away when others came close.
Why do I do this when my heart craves for friendship
When my soul desires to belong.
I’m my own worst enemy, listening to the voice of evil in my head
They won’t like you , why bother
You will never be good enough, so why try
You don’t belong, so why join.
I feel like that child again, standing on the side of the school playground watching the children play.
The only teen not to visit the new
Why do I allow myself to feel this way?
Why do I accept the voices in my head when they tell me I’m not worthy.
Jesus tells me I wonderfully made
Yet I listen to the lies the enemy is preaching at me
Anxiety is winning the battle within my heart.
I can feel the fear as it starts to slowly suffocate me.
It’s my asthma I pretend, but I know
It’s panic and fear all overwhelming me
How can I find the strength to stand strong.
But I turn to the one that can
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
(Psalms 56:3, NIV)