It’s Mothers day another of those days that come along and hits you with a brick called grief.

Mother’s day it’s one of those days where the struggle to smile and pretend all is OK is so much harder.

You search to find your joy, feeling guilty thinking of the one you have lost rather the three you have left to cherish.
I’m struggling biting my tongue so hard it bleeds to stop the tears from falling.

Anger, denial, fear and guilt all are outstanding in their pursuit of my heart.

I know Its wrong of me, I should be focusing on the gifts I have in my life, the three beautiful girls I still get to hold, yet my mind is slipping back to the one that is missing.

I am so blessed I do realise this, I look at my daughters and I know I am truly lucky, but the missing piece of my quartet is on my mind.

I’m sure she is sending kisses from heaven and I know that one day I will hold her again for eternity and the hugs will be a plenty.

So…….

Today I am grateful

Today I know I am blessed

But……

Today I’m missing

Today it hurts.