Kicked off the campsite

I’m lying here in the caravan listening to silence around me. I’m not sure how to feel. Today has been an amazing day, such wonderful memories made. Yet as the day draws to a end I’m transported back a few years. To a rain drenched field and a tent blustering in the wind and two cheeky young children laughing and giggling and keeping the whole campsite awake.

Both children have now passed. My daughter Livvy and our dear Ryan. So very young, taken far to early. So dearly missed and forever grieved.

How is it possible to laugh and cry at the same time as I am now. As I get lost in the precious memories. Both Livvy and Ryan in separate tents causing mayhem. The more we said be quiet the louder the laughter became. You wouldn’t believe two disabled children who looked like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths nearly got us kicked off the campsite.

Double trouble that’s for sure.

What would I give to hear their giggles again. To feel the infectious spirit upon my soul.

Time carries on but as I sit and listen to the silence I miss the past so much. Will life ever be the same again?

Life here without them Is hard but I do smile at the chaos they will be causing in heaven.


3 thoughts on “Kicked off the campsite

  1. This has me in tears. I can only imagine how your heart feels. It is wonderful that you have the memories of those days filled with laughter. A dear friend of mine lost her son 11 years ago. He had taken his life at 13. She did not want a luncheon after the funeral, she thought to herself how can you party after you bury your child. Well the aunts & uncles got together and put a luncheon together. She was very surprised when she found herself laughing when someone shared a funny story about Eric. I remember the first time I heard our neighbor laugh after she had lost her son and my heart was hopeful. Hopeful that through the worst of times people can still find some laughter. My heart aches for you. ((HUGS))


  2. Pat Yirrell

    Very moving Sara, ‘underneath are the everlasting arms’. It was our church anniversary yesterday, and during his talk on ’emotions’, the speaker said he was amazed when he thought that God keeps all our tears in a bottle! That is how much God cares, God understands too, he had to see His Son die.


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