A Step Forward.

I have a problem, I struggle to show what I believe is
weakness. I feel I have to put on this brave face and be strong all the time.

It’s not possible and over the last few days and thanks to
an incredible friend I have realised that it’s ok to be down at times. To be
sad and to say you are.

It doesn’t mean you are weak; in fact it takes courage to be
open and to speak the truth.

It’s been a journey for me; I am the person who always tells
you I’m fine even when I’m not. I worry about putting on others.

Here on this blog I am more honest than anywhere yet even
when someone reads my posts and comes to me my answer is “I’m fine”.

Yet I’m not fine, I am like the rest of the human race. I
have good days and bad. Accepting that this is ok is a step forward for me.
Maybe I can stop beating myself up for what I perceive as weakness and embrace
the freedom in the honesty.

Yes, I am human, I am normal and some days I feel low. You
know what that’s ok.

3 thoughts on “A Step Forward.

  1. Rich

    Id just like to say how very proud i am of you. Nobody says when they feel proud and im a great believer in saying what i feel.

    You have reached a place that few others actually return to. When we are born we start from this place and openly share how we feel but then through socialisation are epected to conform to the rules and requests made of us. Often we feel we have to conform to continue to feel valued and loved.

    Sadly its easier for us to hide behind the mask and say “im ok” when were not we know were not but we do it to prevet feeling a burden to others, Sadly people dont want to hear things they cannot fix and how we feel cannot be easily fixed we take love, warmth and time. All too often we use the mask too often and find that it becomes us and we lose our own face.

    You have not, despite the hurt and pain you have showed yourself, and thus allowed you courage and tenacity to be seen as a light to others feeling the same as you. I only hope you serve as an example that others might follow.

    Youve started along a new journey now and our paths might even cross further down the way, though for now i send you warm wishes and send you strength to continue your way…..


  2. For years and years, I could only write when UP. I simply couldn’t bear to let the other side show. And then at some point I discovered my mother – a super letter-writer and a poet who hid her ability under a bushel – was the same way. I would get regular daily emails from her and we’d write back and forth all the time….and then I’d hear nothing days, and I knew she had the blues. It wasn’t until I saw it in her that I had compassion for “the artist who can only let one side show.” It was weird how I lacked that insight into myself.

    I don’t know how much of this describe you, but what you posted triggered that memory for me. May God show you how to reveal your honest feelings where appropriate and AS appropriate and with words that are fitting, words that help others connect and see themselves! Trust the one who has given you the gift of words.


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